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Back home in Texas we shoot the person who picks up a croquet bat, mallet, whateverumcallit. That's 'coz we're Americans and we play real sports, like world series baseball. We're not going to let...

I pray that the great American people do not live to see such a day.

You're no better than the armless man whose hand I shook yesterday.

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
- Me! In Townsend, Tennessee - Feb 21, 2001.

Global warming is caused by Al-Qaeda. We must battle their threat by spending more money and getting everyone to drink lemonade.

If you question the war in Iraq, you are one of 'them' and are not a patriot!




Hey, that's worked for 6 years now!

Edu ma cation

*deleted by poster*

We will take your strategy under advisement. After verifying that you are not a terrorist.

Nope. Never.

One more year and I can read Where's Waldo, pa says!

It is the will of the American people. Let this serve as a message to terrorists everywhere that nations holding WMDs will not be spared. The American people have spoken as one voice.

Will you help me find WMDs?

These are the hands that built America to protect it from threats such as kovan and his signature of evil.

Are you threatening me? :mad:

Hairballism is a threat to our way of life, we will hunt down and punish the dandruff that think they can threaten our freedom. This is a war on Hairball, I have formed a Coalition of the Willing,...

Women all over America are giving birth to many Americans.

May I give you a massage?

I'm sorry, but I stopped wearing dappers 12 years ago.

Clint Curtis, eh? You're in big trouble, mister.

Your beats are a disgrace to all of America. And Texas too.

I am not a hypothyroid since I cannot swim in cold water.

Imperialist.

Depends. Can he raise his eyebrows and cross his eyes during speeches to give off the appearance of seriousness like I do?

Don't you talk to one of my subjects about spelling! I know more about spelling than the bristles on your fake moustache.

This is Saddam Hussein's family tree

http://www.nedbatchelder.com/pix/explodingsoda.jpg

Cannibalism is a serious threat to democracy and vegetarians. We shall not stand by as they consume our friends and family, unless they are Jehovah's Witnesses.

We have reason to believe that...

If my post was of any help to you, please rate this post

Thank you for your assistance, Robert. Your services to this great quest will prove to be unvaluable and of no consequence. For this, we shall award you with a set of edible panties (peanut butter...

Does Polly want a pretzel?

Perhaps you can't hear me right. Would you like to hide yourself in a hole in the ground so that my words can find you the right way?

You're getting rid of those feet, yes you are. Your foot odor is a threat to the western world.

That game was created by terrorists who are against freedom, democracy and our way of life. We must hunt down and punish these people by drowning them in a bubble bath. An ironic end, indeed. They...

If we don't solve this problem, then the terrorists have won. :eek2:

Thanks, and hey, don't worry guys. I've got it all planned out.

First we kick the oil addiction, which should happen within our lifetimes.

Then we declare war on the smaller countries which...

A pretzel. I immediately proceeded to choke on it.

It was my birthday yesterday. For my birthday, I vowed to continue to fight for freedom in the face of an ever decreasing threat. After I said that, everyone in the hall clapped. They were...

Yeah stop it, you're embarassizing me.

It's a fad not to like some popular bands some times, don't worry ;)

No need to get all touchy about it, just because I have a better sig than yours...