Understanding Women

[chrismitchell]

This was Emailed to me....

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN: (written by a women)

FINE:
This is the word we use to end an argument.
"Fine" means that the argument is over, we are right,
you should shut up.
Never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks. This
will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES:
This is half an hour.
It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING:
This means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside
down, and backwards.
"Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last
"Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the
word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I
don't care."
You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few
minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will
talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools
off.

LOUD SIGH:
This is not actually a word, but is still often a
verbal statement verymisunderstood by men.
A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at
that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time
standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH:
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement.
"Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men
actually understand. She is content.
Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will
stay content.

OH:
This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Example; "Oh, let me get that."
Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing
last night."
If she says, "Oh" before a statement, run, do not
walk, to the nearest exit.

She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done
tossing your clothes
out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you
for at least 2 days.

"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that
you are caught in a lie.
Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will
get raised
eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable
that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY:
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can say to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and
hard before deciding on your punishment for what ever
it is that you have done.
"That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and
used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead."
At some point in the near future when she has plotted
and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big
trouble.

PLEASE DO:
This is not a statement, it is an offer.
A woman is giving you the chance to come up with
whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever
it is that you have done.
You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be
careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS:
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say,
"You're welcome."

THANKS A LOT:
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will
say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at
you.
It signifies that you have hurt her in somecallous
way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."
Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

[Bjwbell]

lol

[chrismitchell]

Isn't it so true?

[filburt1]

It is true. That's the scary part.

[Pix]

You can never have enough shoes or clothes

[SteveCRM]

And a drink to Beacon!

[Beacon]

Best of all my mate sent that to his girlfriend with what he considers to be he important ones in BOLD text.

Doesnt take too much imagination to think of the reaction to:

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to