Jokes...

[ShIzO]

cmon people, it's Friday and i don't really wanna do anything productive today at work, so why don't you post some jokes here...

here is one from me:


A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and
tells him that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible," says the doctor, "show me."

She takes her finger and pushes on her elbow and
screams in agony. She then pushes on her knee
and screams...she pushes on her ankle and
screams...and so it goes. No matter where she
touches, her agony is apparent.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are
you? You're really a blonde."

She sheepishly admits that indeed she is a blonde.
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken in two places"

[charliemancini]

You are a bush pilot in the African veldt.

You fly in some critical medical supplies and enjoy a quick lunch at the
hospital.

You are eager to make your next appointment.

You return to the plane to find that the only piece of shade around has
become verrrryyy popular.....

[parksie]

Hehehe looks nasty ;)A blonde grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby
coffee shop. She held up the thermos and the coffee shop
worker quickly came over to take her order.

"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde
asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a
few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like
about six cups to me."

"Oh good!" the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two
black, two with cream and sugar, and two decaf."

[charliemancini]

Woooo! whats this have a dig at blondes day, lucky mine comes out of a bottle! i may be a woman but this is funny.

WOMEN THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING
BUT WAIT.....TRAINING COURSES ARE NOW AVAILABLE
FOR WOMEN ON THE FOLLOWING SUBJECTS:


1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: "Poor me syndrome" Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only
26. The Toilet : You can learn to leave the seat up

A woman was at work when a man said, "You're hair smells nice."

She went straight to her boss and said, "A man said my hair smells nice."

He in return said, "What's wrong with that, it does."

She said, "The man who said that was a midget."

[barrk]

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff
and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in
the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's
head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week
the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and
killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head
of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."

The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to
go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while
when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the
Indian right on the head.

The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a
ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave
pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied,
"Not now, I'm busy."

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you
should look at this."

Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand
dollars in my hand."

But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."

So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine
were five thousand red Indians.

Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . .
we're going to be millionaires!"