Help with Code

[The Hobo]

I'm having a serious problem with this code, I've been trying to get it to work for awhile...

If Girl.Body = Fine Then
  If Girl.Face = Acceptable Then
    Slap.Ass = True
  End If
End If

I seem to get "Error 442: Lawsuit Filed" every time I run it. Any ideas?

[Matthew Gates]

This should really be in Chit Chat, but..I'll help you anyway.

I have just the help file for you. I will post it right here, just read and you should be able to understand. I mean, it's a bit more technical, for when you get married and all, but just check it out, you may find it very useful someday.


This is someone asking for help from Tech Support.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the
product information. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and now launches during system initialization, where it
monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Cards Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing
7.5 and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my
favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to girlfriend 7.0,
but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

Tech Support is replying to the troubled user.

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that generates many complaints. It is due to a
primary misconception generally by male users. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and
Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by it's
creator to run everything! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to
return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0
to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible
to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow
this. Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems
than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings-
Alimony/Child Support."

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application Yes Dear 3.0 to alleviate
software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that
you read the entire section regarding "General Partnership Faults(GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for any faults and problems that occur,
regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs are cyclical. The best
course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.

Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the
APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Remember the system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
GPF's. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook
It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2. You must, however, be
very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to
launch the program NagNag9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the
performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers
2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

WARNING!!!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support.

[Matthew Gates]

By the way, you may want to add this line to the very top of your code to ignore it and keep going with whatever.

On Error Resume Next

[The Hobo]

hmm...Resume next doesn't really work. A friend suggested that I use "On Error Goto Run" then the code is as follows:

Run:
Call Run(LikeHell, AnyDirection)

End Sub

This has worked well, but I also noticed better functionality after installing the GetAwayCar.bas.

[Matthew Gates]

You can also use the Hide method .

Me.Hide

[Walter100]

The problem is your going outside the rules of the if then structure this is what you should do type this code:

If Girl.Body= Fine and Girl.face= acceptable then slap ass= true
End If
If this does not work then remove:= true
Also you must define the procedures somewhere in your program that you want to be executed or nothing will happen.

[filburt1]

Go multithreaded. That way you can observe multiple Girl objects at once.

[NotLKH]

I hear theres a virus going around that TPTB let loose where,
whenever they detect that code, alter the Timer event to this:

Private Sub Timer1_Timer()
  If Girl.Body = Fine Then
    If Girl.Face = Acceptable Then
      Me.Show
      Slap.Ass = True
      Me.Hide
      if COPS_FOUND(Me) = True Then
           Timer1.enabled = False
           TIME_SERVED = 0
           Timer2.Enabled = true
           Set Me.Container = Jail
           Do While TIME_SERVED < 20*365
                 DoEvents
           Loop
      End If
    End If
  End If
End Sub

-Lou

[The Hobo]

I think it wise to add a few more lines of coding to prevent an ass kicking:

      If Boyfriend.Present = True Then
        Exit Sub
      End If

[The Hobo]

By the way, Walter, I don't know if you were trying to joke or what, but incase you didn't know, I thought I'd inform you that this thread isn't serious.

And about the if then structure, it looks fine to me. And I also find it tacky to leave my If Then's on one like. I like to space things so it's easier to understand.

Also, by putting your If then on one line, you do not need to end if. Unless I am mistaken.

If Bob = Gay then Text1.text = "Kill Him"

would not require an end if.

[Medicus]

LOL

Boy, what a funny story!

I haven't laugh that hard since the episode of the Soprano's where Tony is dreaming about is shrink with the BIG hard on!!!

Man, what a funny one. Where did you get this?

[Medicus]

Originally posted by Matthew Gates
This should really be in Chit Chat, but..

I don't think so. It should be everywhere. Everybody needs a chance to take a break once in a while.

That is some really..."ok Bert, drop it".

[Tygur]

Originally posted by Walter100
The problem is your going outside the rules of the if then structure this is what you should do type this code:

If Girl.Body= Fine and Girl.face= acceptable then slap ass= true
End If
If this does not work then remove:= true
Also you must define the procedures somewhere in your program that you want to be executed or nothing will happen.

It's better the way it was. Before, if Girl.Body was not Fine, we'd just quit and move on. With your suggestion, we gotta check Girl.Body and then look at Girl.Face, even if Girl.Body is ExtremelyRound.

[The Hobo]

Damn!

Every time I try to initialize Girlfriend, it says "Component Not Found" anyone know where I can pick this componetn up?

[Medicus]

The guy doesn't have a chance.

His If Then Else is not quite up to the chalenge.

He gets an If without End Money Error.

Doomed!