How do these people survive?!

[Jeff_1]

I received this in an email..funny! :)

Subject: How Do These People Survive?


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen
nuggets", said the teenager at the counter. "you don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

* The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today". She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....

MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it our very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.

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Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

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I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
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IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
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IDIOTS & COMPUTERS My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
downtown?"
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Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
=====
The Scenery changes, but life goes on..... Thank Goodness!

[alex_read]

Relatives of yours :D ?


Darwin Awards - 2001. Hot off the press! The 2000-2001 Darwin Awards Are
Here!! The latest Darwin Awards update.... The Darwin Awards, for those
not familiar, are for those individuals who contribute to the survival
of the fittest by eliminating themselves from the gene pool before they
have a chance to breed.
>
>1. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited
into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire
burned his house down, killing both him and his sister.
>
>2. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died
of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately 6'2" tall and
weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and
white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to
create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas
mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in
its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a
hollow wooden tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other
end was inserted into his rear end for reasons unknown, and was the
cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of explaining the
circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
>
> 3. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude
when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the
occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and
crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants
around their ankles.
>
>4. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details
before arriving, except that someone had reported that his father was
not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the
couch, naked. When she rolled him over to check for a pulse and to start
CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance
arrived and removed the man - who was declared dead on arrival at the
hospital - the police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed
that the man had made a hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the
couch over, they discovered what caused his death. Apparently the man
had a habit of putting his ***** between the cushions, down into the
hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for
obvious reasons). According to the story, after his orgasm the discharge
shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.
>
>5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near
Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and
killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have
qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that the
driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which
had started urgently beeping for food as she drove along. In an attempt
to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman
lost her own.
>
>6. A 22-year-old Reston, VA. man was found dead after he tried to use
octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax
County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of
these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the
other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the
pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators
think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of
the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the
trestle and the ground", Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause
of death was "Major trauma".
>
>7. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball.
The friend - no doubt, a future Darwin Awards candidate - was
hospitalized.
>
>8. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the
>smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building,
extinguishing all potential sources of ignition: lights, power, etc.
After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had
difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the
lights worked (you can see what's coming, can't you?). Witnesses later
described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket
and retrieving an object, that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon
operation of the lighter-like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded,
sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the
technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the explosion.
The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of
as 'bright' by his peers.

[Juan Carlos Rey]

Are all of these stories real? No kidding?

However that sandpaper machine stuff gave me a bright idea...

[Sastraxi]

Don't get smart....:D

[Jethro]

Originally posted by Juan Carlos Rey
Are all of these stories real? No kidding?

However that sandpaper machine stuff gave me a bright idea...

Don't forget to remove the sandpaper Juan:eek: Else the following conversation will take place in the Rey household.

"Mummy where's Daddy"

"Well Son, we had to take Daddy to the hospital because he was suffering from...ahem....marks on his.....ahem.....body"

"Oh no have the skid marks moved from his undies"

[Juan Carlos Rey]

First of all, excuse my English, I am a native spanish speaker.

That sander machine story seems scrap to me. As electronic engineer, I can tell you that 110 volts will seldom kill a person. I myself suffered many many 220 V shocks and still am around here telling lies. As a second fact, to suffer an electric shock from an electric device one must make contact with the "live" pole of the mains and ground. Lying on a couch the person is isolated from ground, and so the shock is very unlikely to occur. And then is another fact, after an electric shock in that part of a body, one instictively would try to contract the body, pulling away the offending part from the source of electricity, which probably was attached to the bottom of the couch.

The two technicians from the gas company story, is almost completely believeable. Such people is not smart at all around here also. But how in the life could a witness see the cigarette lighter at a safe distance ("the explosion sent pieces of it up to three miles away") when the light conditions inside the building were so poor the techs couldn't barely see their way?

See ya!

[Jethro]

.,..where the shocks you received at the Hospital or before they sent you there:rolleyes:

[Juan Carlos Rey]

[Pix]

Speaking of McDonalds I got an awful email yesterday showing a picture of some chicken nuggets - which turned out to be a chickens head! Ewww :eek: