you know when you are addicted to the internet when....

[zmerlinz]

1. You kiss your girlfriend's home page.

2. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

3. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.

4. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.

5. You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.

6. You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

7. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

8. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net: 28.8...ISDN...cable modem...T1...T3.

9. And even your night dreams are in HTML.

10. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

11. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

12. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

13. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at I-I-Net dot net dot au

14. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.

15. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

16. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.

17. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.

18. All of your friends have an @ in their names.

19. When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

20. Your dog has its own home page.

21. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.

22. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

23. You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.

24. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

25. You refer to your age as 3.x.

26. You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.

27. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.

28. Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel.

29. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

30. You don't know what sex over three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

31. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.

32. You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.

33. Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

34. You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games

35. You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.

36. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

37. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

38. You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

39. You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

40. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Mommy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

41. Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.

42. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.

43. Your partner makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."

44. You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.

45. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.

46. You forget what year it is.

47. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

48. You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.

49. You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".

50. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."

51. You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.

52. Your partner says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

[Jeff_1]

I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago and i told him about this book i had "downloaded" from the library..when i actually meant i "borrowed" a book from the library.

i am a loser.

[HarryW]

You're a loser!
There's nothing left for you.
A worthless loser!
At everything you do.

[zmerlinz]

thats not very nice harry, i imagine simmilar things have happend to you, they have to me, when i am pointing things out to people i say "click on the pen over there" or something equally stupid

[HarryW]

That's just because I'm not a nice person.

[zmerlinz]

oooohhh *holds a pretend handbag in a sarcastic defensive posture

[Pix]

Is it a pink handbag?

[zmerlinz]

2 points its pretend i don't know its colour and why o you suggest pink i am more of a black person, n e ways how are ya pix?

[Pix]

I'm fine, you?

[zmerlinz]

not to bad, i am very tired and thirsty a lot at the minute, but i am ok i have TONNES of coursework at the minute how about you ?

[Pix]

Don't even mention coursework

[zmerlinz]

that bad huh ?

[Pix]

It's not THAT bad, the deadline is too near, that's all

[Captain_Smegma]

I am addicted 2 cybersex.

All i do all day is meet girls in chat rooms and make keyboard love.

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by Captain_Smegma
I am addicted 2 cybersex.

All i do all day is meet girls in chat rooms and make keyboard love.

Don't we all?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Or is that just me...dang...rumbled

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by HarryW
That's just because I'm not a nice person.

Are you sure Harry, your avatar looks so...friendly

[Kzin]

Originally posted by Jeff_1
I was talking to a friend a couple of days ago and i told him about this book i had "downloaded" from the library..when i actually meant i "borrowed" a book from the library.

Do you ever find that you do something (hit your thumb with a hammer, say something or whatever) and then start looking around for the UNDO button

I'm so used to useing ctrl+Z, if I were to hit my thumb with a hammer, I would be unable to press both of these keys (i'd use my thumb for one of them).
Dang!