Virtual Relationships

SMH quoted:

[/quote]
Is it cheating to have some sort of a relationship over the
internet? And, I am saying that you never meet in person.
THe whole relationship is virtual.
[/quote]

According to Protestant theology, the process of thinking
of sin as a violation of vows is nearly as damaging as the
act of doing. According to human law, the act of thinking
of criminal actions is conspiracy. Whether or not the
ciminal action is culpable depends upon the local laws and
the jurisdiction.

In your case, SMH, since virtual violation of vows would
probably come under the conspiracy act, unless you lived in
a state where adultery is illegal AND the conspiracy to
commit adultery is also illeagal, you're safe. Of
course, if you do live in such a state AND you have co-
habitated with you SO for more than 6 months, they'll
probably come knocking on your door very soon.

In short, by most ethical systems, I think a virtual
relationship WOULD be as much a violation as a physical
relationship.

[Benjamin]

knocking on your door??

you're kidding right?

Technically, no. Practically yes.

It depends on circumstances for the most part:

"The law in its majesty, forbids the rich man from sleeping
under the bridge, as it does the poor man."

It is as much a crime to overpay your taxes as to underpay
them.

The law is supposed to make no distinctions between
gradations of guilt and innocence...an action is either
legal or illegal.

Most laws are not, however, enforced.

[Benjamin]

so adultery is illegal??

I knew it was wrong -- I din't know it was illegal..

The only state that I know of where adultery is NOT illegal
is Alaska. I think there are others, but I don't know
which they are right off hand.

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/2269/

[smh]

So, in my case, if I have a dream about another man than my fiance, does that fall under the same category?


And no, in case you are wondering, I have never cheated on my fiance in real life, or virtually. But, I do know of a friend who is carrying on a relationship on-line and one in real life.

All the ethical systems that I know of make a clear
distinction between cognizant awareness and involuntary
associations.

No, you can dream of me all you like. Just don't think of
me when you're awake.

[smh]

Whew!!!....

If I could get in trouble with the law for dreaming about other people, I'd be locked up for life...

What about daydreaming...when your mind wanders away while you are working and all of the sudden you are shocked because you realize what you are thinking about? Is that considered dreaming or not?

[smh]

One more question...

Then why are there magazines like Playboy, etc...

They encourage men to think about other women other than their wives. Why isn't that illegal then?

Well, I guess technically, they would be involuntary
associations. However, if you continue to put yourself in
a position that causes the same, or similar, daydream time
after time, I suppose that would constitute a conspiracy by
circumstance. Much like throwing out arsenic in a dirty
old bag vs. putting it in an apple pie and then in the
garbage.

Playboy is not responsible for the same reasons that the gun makers are not culpable for death by gunshot. The responsibility lies with the user...not the manufacturer. Right, wrong or otherwise, Playboy simply reports the facts....ummmmm or whatever...

In point of fact, there is some pressure to litigate the
purveyors of porn (I mean real porn, not pictures of naked
women) for their part in crimes agains women and children.
Snuff films, torture pictures, childporn, etc....

[smh]

OK, the police can't come and arrest me then. I should be safe.

[barrk]

I don't think that I have committed adultery by having fun with td, Paul et al.....If I were, it would be a matter between my husband and myself. We are fine with each other (better than fine actually). We have a very stable, comfortable and loving relationship. This is due in part to the fact that we don't get upset by each other having very human reactions to other people....we share these reactions with each other which brings us even closer together. It's not cheating...we were just having fun!

I don't believe anyone said differently, Katie. What SMH
meant, and I was addressing, was a far different calibre
than what was happening on the other thread.

What I was discussing was a serious breach of vows,
perpetrated within a non-physical medium. Claiming that
there is no wrong-doing because it was not physical, is as
specious as Clinton claiming not to have had sex with
Lewinsky because of a difference of definition.

[smh]

I agree with every word of that!

[smh]

My fiance knows that I wouldn't do anything other than joke with any other man. We would not be getting married if one of us thought the other might have the slightest thought of cheating on the other. You shouldn't be married if you aren't completely faithful to your spouse.

[barrk]

Maybe I don't understand the definition of a "virtual relationship". I have met all of you on the site. I feel a certain friendship and comraderie with each of you...I discuss matters with you as I do with people whom I have a "real relationship". Does there have to be a sexual connotation for it to be considered a relationship?

[smh]

Well I think in the way that we were conversing in this thread we were implying a relationship as a sexual relationship.

[HarryW]

Yes, it's cheating. Really. I'm not going into my reasons for believing so, but it is.

[barrk]

I don't agree with you Harry.

[smh]

Harry,

So you think a friendly relationship is cheating too?

[smh]

I know that a friendly relationship is not cheating, because I am not cheating on my fiance with Katie, and I feel that I have a friendly relationship with her.

[barrk]

Point well made smh!

[parksie]

Well...otherwise it's going to be a bit harsh on both your SO's if that happened :rolleyes:

I don't think it's cheating to THINK about it, as long as you only do that. I believe that it is wrong once something is actually done that affects others.

[parksie]

Likewise the recent arrests of all those sick people in the Wonderland group.

[barrk]

Originally posted by parksie
Likewise the recent arrests of all those sick people in the Wonderland group.


???????????????????????????????????

[parksie]

Big international ring of child porn photographers/dealers.

http://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0,,2-65869,00.html

[barrk]

Oh man....that is horrible!

[parksie]

Indeed :(

[Sophtware]

I mean geez... if adultry is illegal... and commiting suicide is illegal... what else? ( yes commiting suicide is illegal.. i knew someone who tried too commit suicide and he went to jail after he failed at it..sad eh ;) )

What else is the law going to butt itself into..?

I was reading an article in the newspaper today about these two people that are in court battle over a rottweiler ..
it goes like this:
This woman had a rottweiler..and she was involved with this man... i guess they were going too be married..but things went south on the marrage..and the woman promised the man the he could have the dog...then after a little while..she changed her mind and wante too keep the dog..so the guy got a lawyer..and took the case too court so he could get the dog... then, if this case wasnt stupid enough..the judge said this

"I cant believe you two let this argument over an animal get this far... i should take the dog to utah" (why he said utah i dont know) then the lawyer for the woman asked if the dog itself could be brought into court so the judge could see which person it shows it's affection for ..then the judge said "That will not prove anything".........

...................... what kind of idiot judge is he?

needless to say i stopped reading the article at that point...because it was just stupid.

Just another incident where big brother has to butt in.

And yes i agree with harry...cheating online is still cheating..because someone would cheat online..they would cheat with actuall interaction.

[barrk]

I don't agree. How do you "cheat" on-line????

[HarryW]

Katie, I think you misunderstood me. If you are emotionally involved with someone in that way, you are cheating, whether it's online or not, and whether it's physical or not. I don't mean that friendly relationships are cheating, that would be silly.

[barrk]

...I was waiting for someone to make the distinction...I thought maybe I was the only one who saw that there was one. I do agree with you 100%..it's the emotional involvement that can do the damage. BSing with people is entirely a different issue!

[Sophtware]

What i meant by cheating is when a person does the "Cybersex" stuff... i dont mean by just having friendship over the net.

And i know it sounds a bit ridiculous to classify "cybersex" as cheating..but it's about the same as having "phonesex" with another person.. i mean i wouldnt like it if my significant other is having cybersex with some guy online..

[parksie]

Not pissed off, just not answering.

I didn't really have much else to add...however - just be careful to maintain the distinction between real and fake...it tends to break down a bit when the internet is involved.

[rasper]

How about if...
You and your fiancee, wife .... are online and you are communicating with each other unknowingly and telling each other these fantasies that you can't voice to one another in real life.
Don't you think it would look really wierd and there would be that feeling of -" what if it had been a stranger you'd been telling all these?"
I think in the end it all looks kinda wierd

dya mean ur speaking to ur wife, fiancee etc knowing its them or not?

~CHenKO

[rasper]

You are speaking to them without knowing and you are thinking how frustrated yu are and why yu didn't end up with this e-person that is so hot...

[rasper]

It even gets worse,..
You arrange to meet and then you go only to bump straight into each other.

So this happend to you then??? LOL

~CHenKO