Katie News - Latest

[paulw]

Hello Katie,

I'm just sick of missing you in the post race. So I thought I'd open up a thread specially for your news.

Cheers,

P.

[paulw]

Latest news is... you're not playing:(

P.

[JPRoy392]

She's a Californian, so she is probaby still sleeping or on her way to work.

[barrk]

I'm not sleeping anymore.....I was though!

How's it going Paul? Do your daughters still have chicken pox?

[paulw]

Yep, they didn't remain spotless for long:(

Olivia is quite sorry for herself and woke up at 3.15am - she went back down - at 6.10am - I am a bit tired today.

So any news you have, this is the thread for it...

BTW Have you used DTS much 'cos I haven't and would like to know what it can do...

Cheers,

P.

[barrk]

Yep!!! We use DTS for all the transfers from Oracle to our server. It will make your connections between the different datasources. (Oracle to SQL, Access to SQL, txt files to SQL etc.) It's really helpful for doing conversions (datatype etc.) We do some mathmatical conversions prior to the transfers too. You can do the conversions in VB code inside the DTS. We schedule our transfers to happen while we are snug in our beds dreaming of things I can't talk about here. It works great!

[paulw]

Thank you.

P.

[barrk]

What have you been up to? I love Fridays don't you?????

[paulw]

Not a lot - it IS Friday you know:D

Looking forward to the weekend - Calamine lotion, Sodium Bicarbonate baths, washing clothes, washing clothes, washing clothes... Still nice though. Got to take down all the Christmas decorations as well and get our tree recycled.

Only 30 mins to go:)

Yes, yes, I know you will pay me back on Monday, but Monday's are bad anyway...

Cheers,

P.

[parksie]

I have a good reason for liking fridays...it's saturday tomorrow so I can stay up late.

Incidentally - I'll be around on td's IRC thing from about 5:00 your time (1:00 AM here, but n/p ;))

[barrk]

I have a hot date with the hubby tonight so no chatting tonight!! Maybe Saturday though!

[parksie]

Hehehe...enjoy your evening Katie... :)

[barrk]

Thanks...you too! Say hey to td etc. for me.

[parksie]

Will do. I'll definitely have a good evening - not an evening with my husband ;) - but the new series of Frasier starts tonight!

[Benjamin]

yeah... parksies husband makes him wait 'till saturday night... :rolleyes:

[parksie]

Whatever... ;)

And Dennis...I hope you think that I was taking the p**s :)

[barrk]

Good morning one and all....happy Monday!

[tumblingdown]

Morning.

If i were wearing my flat cap, i'd give it a tug.
Hope you have a good day.


td.

[barrk]

I'll try....it is Monday though...kind of tough to get started after such an awesome weekend!

[Ianpbaker]

sorry katie, I dont understand how those two words can go together

[paulw]

Morning!? MORNING? You lazy thing you - it's almost going home time...

I'll have you know I was up looking after the twins before you went to bed (unless you went to bed before 10pm that is:))

Cheers,

P.

[barrk]

Originally posted by Ianpbaker
sorry katie, I dont understand how those two words can go together

Which two words would those be?

[Ianpbaker]

Happy And Monday

[barrk]

I went to bed around 11:30 last night. Got up at 5:00 tried to get to work...I was driving my husband's car...blew a fan belt...waited for him to pick me up, take me back home to "steal" my sons car..drove my son to work..drove myself to work...

Not a lazy morning...but not a great one either!

[barrk]

Sarcasm, Ian...it's called sarcasm.

[Ianpbaker]

you don't need to tell and english person about sarcasm katie, I think we invented it. anyway it's hard to pick up sarcasm on just text sometimes

[barrk]

I know..you're right...you guys are much better at sarcasm than I am but...it's Monday and I'm not quite done with my coffee yet. Please forgive me.

[paulw]

Who says we are better at sarcasm. American humor (sic) is just tooo sophisticated for us poor little Europeans...

Cheers,

P.

(Hope you have had your coffee now)

[Ianpbaker]

No apology needed if you haven't had your first cup yet.

[paulw]

Course, we couldn't possibly be nasty to poor defenceless little you before your first infusion of caffeine...

Hmmm sarcasm - lowest form of wit - but I can go lower...

Cheers,

P.

[Ianpbaker]

Originally posted by barrk
I went to bed around 11:30 last night. Got up at 5:00 tried to get to work...

Nudge,nudge
wink,wink
say no more

[barrk]

All right guys....I'm all full of caffiene now so watch out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[paulw]

I'd better go home then - see you at about 11pm GMT.

Bye.

P.

[barrk]

Bye Paul....how are your kidlets?

[paulw]

Spotty. Getting better though. Olivia took her first solids on Sunday, wasn't impressed though and Emma just pushed it back out with her tongue.

The boys are back to nursery today so they will be tired and bad-tempered by the time I get home, talking of which...

c ya later.

P.

[Ianpbaker]

Life is like a box of chocolates

Some bugger has already got their first and eaten all the creams

[HarryW]

I never liked the creams anyway.

*Waits for a bad pun*

[parksie]

Gnnnck...*twitch*...eeerkkk....resistance......failing........

[Ianpbaker]

the force is strong to turn to the darkside, but you must resist

[barrk]

Creams....aren't those the best????

[parksie]

You'd know ;)

Sorry...just HAD to say it :(

Obviously I need a lesson in resisting temptation.

[paulw]

Hmm - this was meant to be a forum for Katie to leave posts in that we could reply to in a measured way given the time differences. It seems to have descended into abuse and smut...



















...great:)

Cheers,

P.

[barrk]

I echo that sentiment!

[parksie]

But I thought Katie liked abuse and smut?

Why else would she be the moderator of the "Dirty Jokes Forum" at forums.phpsquare.com?

:D:D:D:D:D

[barrk]

I seem to remember being railroaded into it by someone named parksie....

[paulw]

Like your new sig...


Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.


...but you've obviously never flown a pineapple:D

P.

[barrk]

Good morning Paul! Nope, never flown a pineapple...don't get it...must be my sad American humor!

[Ianpbaker]

it's like flying a banana, but it's a bit painfult to sit on

[barrk]

Bananas are FUN to fly! Quite exciting actually....

[Ianpbaker]

sorry to be ignorant katie, but does flying banana's have an altenative meaning that I should know about or not know about as the case may be

[barrk]

There are lots of fun things to do with bananas....you figure it out.

[Ianpbaker]

eat them ?

[barrk]

That's definitely one of them....

[Ianpbaker]

hold up banks with one under your coat, thus making it look like a gun ?

[barrk]

That could be fun too!!!!

[Ianpbaker]

Putting a lead on one, calling if wuffy and putting it in a kennel and .... only kidding, I think i'll stop now

[Ianpbaker]

paul. I forgot to say, i'm back in london on monday starting my new contract. So I will be able to put a few faces to names after all. lucky you that you get to meet me ;)

[barrk]

Bananas are much more humble than men too....

[Ianpbaker]

true, you never hear a banana complaining, do you ?

[barrk]

Never...but then again I've never heard a man complain about being eaten either....oops...did I really type that?

[Edited by barrk on 01-09-2001 at 11:49 AM]

[Ianpbaker]

now now katie, this is a family show, although i'm trying not pee myself with laughter at the moment

[barrk]

sorry....don't know what's gotten into me lately. I'll try to be a little more genteel...no promises though.

[Ianpbaker]

I could say something .... But I won't :D

[paulw]

And there are definitely some things you can do with bananas that would be positively dangerous with pineapples.

Cheers,

P.

[barrk]

not to mention truely painful!

[paulw]

I wouldn't know...

Until tomorrow.

P.

[barrk]

de ja vu!

[Ianpbaker]

Stop that, stop that, it's silly and absurd. and now time for something completly different. Do you know what the wing velocity of an unlaiden sparrow is.

[barrk]

Depends on the altitude and mach....everyone knows that!

[Ianpbaker]

also depends whether it's an african or european sparrow

[barrk]

Very true!

[Ianpbaker]

Somebody had a monty python night, last night


King Arthur: We have ridden the last month in search of knights to join us
Knight: Ridden?
King Arthur: yes for the last month
Knight: you haven't ridden, you've got two halves of a coccanut and banging them together
King Arthur: may we speak to you master?
Knight: Where did you get them ?
King Arthur: we found them
Knight: youre telling me that they were lying on the ground, a coccanut's tropical?
King Arthur: Does not the sparrow fly south for the the winter
Knight: it not a question of that. youre telling me a 4oz bird can carry a 4lb coccanut
...

absolutley classic film

[barrk]

Holy Grail?

[Ianpbaker]

That'll be the one, the scene does continue, but I couldn't be arsed to write it all

[barrk]

Monty Python movies are a scream.

[parksie]

If even our friends in America can get it...they must be funny ;)

[barrk]

Ooh....that was mean!

[parksie]

Thankyou :)

I'm in a bit of a hyperactive mood at the moment...I have exams coming up (*cries*).

But...on the up side - since I have one tomorrow afternoon, I get a lie-in tomorrow morning (you get the half-day before your exam off :))

Everyone - Easy on the banana jokes...and don't get me started on Bananaman ;)

[barrk]

Lucky you.....do well on the exam. Don't blame me for the banana jokes...Paul started it!

[paulw]

No I didn't - it was your sig. You were just asking for trouble...

P.

How's our affair going?...

[parksie]

I thought she was having an affair with td?

Oh...never mind...the more the merrier (as it were :D)

[tumblingdown]

Exactley, that's the idea ;-)



td.

[barrk]

Good morning one and all! Sorry about yesterday...I was a little out of control. I feel MUCH better today...so does my husband!

[paulw]

mmm. So do I ;)

Cheers,

P.

[barrk]

So...are you enjoying our affair?

[paulw]

Absolutely. If only I knew what you looked like. I imagine you are a little cracker since you did contribute half the genes to your children and they are pretty good looking...

Apart from not knowing what you look like (and if you were in any of the pix. they got lost in the ether), its the best affair I've ever had. And my wife agrees with me:):)

P.

PS What do you look like?

[barrk]

Ian and Erin both look like me but I have dark hair, ten pounds heavier than Erin..15 pounds heavier than Ian(don't know how many stones that is) and I'm obviously older than they are. I would send pics of me but you have no idea what I had to go through to get the pics of my kids onto the work system...It's not nearly as embarrassing to ask to have pics of your kids scanned in but a picture of me would sound a little weird..... If I had a scanner at home....maybe someday.

[paulw]

Just tell the scanning place that you want to send your picture to your pals in England that you are having an affair with, cos they have no idea what you look like. See what kind of look you get then:D

P.

[barrk]

I would certainly be funny!!! I don't think they'd be much surprised though...they already think I'm rather outrageous...can't imagine why?????????

[paulw]

Hmmmm. Maybe I don't want that picture after all - it could never match up to what I am imagining...:D

Cheers,

P.

Off home now. See you tomorrow.

[barrk]

Paul....don't think for a minute you're off the hook...the Evil Temptress will never let you go.....

You will be mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[parksie]

Count yerself lucky, paul m'boy :)

[paulw]

hehehehehe

P.

[barrk]

What's this Paul...no "Good morning, Katie"?

[paulw]

Sorry, sorry. I was asleep there for a minute - two affairs and all the drinking (not forgetting the twins, as well) can make you a bit sleepy.

Good Morning, Katie.

Good Afternoon. (That's for when I've gone home...)

P.

[barrk]

That's better...now I can make it through this crappy day with a smile...everyone else will wonder what I'm up to...











...Cool!

[paulw]

hehehehehehe

P.

[barrk]

Where's Paul today????

[smh]

Must have taken another day off...

[barrk]

I don't think they got MLK off in the UK, did they?

[smh]

Welcome back. YOu would not believe how quiet it was in here yesterday. I think I was the oldest one in here.

[smh]

Well, there was only like 3 people in here yesterday.

[barrk]

I read the posts this morning...there was an awful lot of echoing!!

I had a great three day weekend...spent too much money..but had a great time anyway! How was yours?

[smh]

Mine was busy. Saturday I had our Employee Appreciation banquet for work and had PLENTY to drink. I would have to say that my fellow employees are a lot more fun when they loosen up a bit. Sunday we had my little sister's 16th, my mom's 40th, and my dad's 42nd birthday parties. (They all have their B-Day's between the 15th and 26th, and they will be on a Carribean cruise starting on Saturday. I'm still pouting because they aren't taking me along.)

I am leaving to get my haircut. Talk to you in an hour.

[parksie]

Don't lose too much hair...it gets cold :p

Hiya people :)

[barrk]

Howdy Mike...how goes it?

[HarryW]

I'm starting a whole semester of 3 day weekends now, since I get Fridays off.

Mwuhahahahahahahah ;)

[barrk]

What a life....I'm soooo jealous!

[smh]

Didn't loose too much hair. I have to wear my hair up with the veil I have for the wedding, so I could only get a trim. I am going to cut a lot off after the wedding though.

[barrk]

I got tickets to see Elton John and Billy Joel next month...they costs way too much but as we have four piano players in our house, and we could afford it (sort of), I couldn't think of reason not to spend the money. I can't wait!

[HarryW]

Wow, lucky you. *Harry sniggers quietly*

I'm ssoooooooooooo jealous.



Hahahahaha.... *Ahem* Enjoy ;)

[barrk]

Are you being facetious, Harry?? I take it he's not your cup of tea?

[HarryW]

Oh I'm sorry, did it show? :)

I don't like him. Not just the music (that's not my kind of thing but I can tell it's pretty good if it is your kind of thing) I don't like Elton John as a person. He seems like an arrogant tit who thinks he's funny just because he can tell jokes about being gay. I mean yeah, he's gay, so what? Not exactly funny in itself. He presented the last ever show of TFI Friday (UK TV programme), and he sucked bigtime. It was a terrible show, and it was all basically because of Elton John.

Anyway I'll stop there. I don't like him ;)

[barrk]

Oh well...to each his own. I think he is an enormously talented piano player...especially his very early stuff (11/17/70 is his best album)....I do see your point about him as a person though. I know lots of gay people but they don't seem to think it needs to be the whole sum of who they are.

[Benjamin]

some gay people are ashamed of it... if I were gay(WHICH I AM NOT) I would be too.....

thats f-ing discusting... wanting jam your "member" up another guys ass? just thinking about it makes me want to puke....

[barrk]

I don't think you should be ashamed of your sexuality no matter what your orientation is. It might not work for you but that doesn't mean you have the right to condemn the life choice of another.

[Benjamin]

well, I know I shouldn't be like that katie.. but it's just not natural, and it makes me sick....

[barrk]

Not natural for you, not natural for me, doesn't mean not natural for others...

[Benjamin]

Well, I don't really mean that.. but I mean like in nature....

if it was natural, then men could give birth as well as women......

[barrk]

There are other reasons to have sex than procreating.

[Benjamin]

damn... I ran out of things to say... you win.... ;)

[parksie]

Great. First thread I go to and I come away with THAT mental image :(

[Benjamin]

hehehehehehehe

[HarryW]

Well I don't think it's a particularly desirable thing in any human to be homosexual. It's a bit of a genetic dead-end really, I mean... you can't procreate. Well nowadays you can I suppose. Whether you should... well that's an entirely different question, and since this thread is meant for friendly conversation and amusingly smutty remarks, I'll leave it :)

Right then, time to get things back on track.

Can I borrow your sharpener? (always used to get laughs at primary school :rolleyes: (asked to a girl of course))

[barrk]

I didn't realize this was a win/lose conversation....but I hope you do learn a little tolerance....I guarantee you were born tolerant don't let life take that away from you!

[Edited by barrk on 01-16-2001 at 04:29 PM]

[parksie]

Win? Lose? Who cares? We're all mad anyway.

I used to be like Dennis though...psychopathically homophobic :(

Although I matured a little and even though I don't like it, I can put up with it now.

[Benjamin]

tolerant against what?

homosexuals???

it's not like I'll spit on them and walk away laughing.... I treat them as normal people... it's just I think it's quite a bit gross...

my brothers friends uncle is gay... I wouldn't mind so much, but whenever he's over at my house(talking to my mom) he comments on how good I look.... that sometimes scares me.. :eek:


BTW, before I have to say it in another post.. shut up Mike.... ;)

[paulw]

As the progenitor of this thread, I had hoped I could keep up to date with Katie without 5 million other posts to read through. Unfortunately we seem to have taken our eyes off the ball... (open goal for somebody). Never mind <sigh>.

P.

[parksie]

Dennis keeps his eye on the ball... :p

[Benjamin]

Yes.... but you keep your eye on the balls...

[barrk]

Originally posted by paulw
As the progenitor of this thread, I had hoped I could keep up to date with Katie without 5 million other posts to read through. Unfortunately we seem to have taken our eyes off the ball... (open goal for somebody). Never mind <sigh>.

P.

You are never around anymore....it's difficult to keep up a thriving affair without you!

[barrk]

Just thought I'd bring this to the top too!






















Can you tell I'm bored?

[paulw]

Of course our affair is thriving - its just entered a new phase - the silent, "I don't write any more" phase. Next it'll be "We don't talk any more", then the "You don't understand me" phase. What fun.

P.

[barrk]

Hehehe.....