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Dec 28th, 2000, 01:15 PM
funny, astounding, startling, whatever. everything welcome.
parksie
Dec 28th, 2000, 01:34 PM
In possession of a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
JPRoy392
Dec 28th, 2000, 02:01 PM
Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
JPRoy392
Dec 28th, 2000, 02:57 PM
Gun control: Using both hands.

and

After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
Dec 28th, 2000, 03:36 PM
She is so far back in the closet, that she is currently in Narnia.
Dec 28th, 2000, 03:46 PM
Scientology will relieve you of the weight of your excess money.
Benjamin
Dec 28th, 2000, 04:04 PM
I put my finger in my nose and part of my brain came out.
Sophtware
Dec 28th, 2000, 06:47 PM
Anyone got some aspirin? i think i am catching a cold... ;)
paulw
Dec 29th, 2000, 05:59 AM
Nothing to declare... except my genius

Oscar Wilde, passing through Customs.
JPRoy392
Dec 29th, 2000, 08:13 AM
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Garkin
Dec 29th, 2000, 09:50 AM
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

and

There are three lies in life. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Dec 29th, 2000, 10:37 AM
Lost: Wife and dog. Will pay reward for dog.

What can five men do at the same time that five women can't? Piss on the same spot.
parksie
Dec 29th, 2000, 12:25 PM
Ninety percent of the politiciants give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
YoungBuck
Dec 29th, 2000, 09:39 PM
Should 'anal retentive' have a hyphen?
Dec 30th, 2000, 08:46 AM
The home page on my website displays a random quote each visit. Each time you click on the "Home" link on the left hand side (or refresh the page) you'll get a new one.

The address is: http://www.mralston.co.uk

I'd apreciate any that you people want to add to the site too. :)
JPRoy392
Jan 2nd, 2001, 08:35 AM
The beatings will continue until morale improves.

and

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.