What would YOU do...

[Sophtware]

Ok.. i have a friend ..which i have known since i was 5 years old, two months ago i found out he has a brain tumor.

I have noticed ..that he doesnt seem to care much about life anymore... i mean he does things nowadays that he wouldnt do before..(like driving 100 mph on the freeway)

He isnt shy anymore about what he has too say about anyone...male or female.. he tells them how he feels.

And much more other stuff that would take too long to type.

i never asked him about it because... i just havent.. none of "our circle of friends" ask him anything about it..yet we all know, and he knows we know.

what would you do in a situation like this?

i would like too see what different opinions you all have.



later.

[Guv]

First, I would try to find what is causing the personality change. Second, I would not ignore his change in behavior.

It could be beyond his control. A brain tumor can affect the personality. I do not think this is likely, but it is possible. If this is the case, he needs some close relative to take control. Legal action might be necessary.

It could be that he just does not give a damn anymore due to knowing (or thinking) that he is going to die soon.

I suspect the latter. In this case, I would try to get him to talk about what he is doing. Somebody should try to convince him that he should not screw up what is left of his life.

You should point out that being paralyzed or crippled due to an auto accident will not make his life easier to bear.

Also, his behavior might alienate some of his friends, which he really needs now.

It could be that he is trying to attract attention, and just wants somebody to say they care what happens to him. Perhaps ignoring his change in behavior is cruel, not kind.

I agree with #2 what Guv said...

because, I think, if you know you are going to die soon, you might as well have lots of fun, whether it be legal or not, because you're not ever going to be able to experience it.....

a case like this happened to a young kid.. he had the "elephant man disease"

Errm. or something, can't really remember what it was, but he was going to die by the time he was like 13,
at the time, he was about 8, and his parents let him smoke, drink, gamble, etc...


I saw this on a documentary...
well, obviously the kid doesn't care, he'll be dead by the time he gets lung cancer...


I better stop now, because I am not very good at being sympathetic.....


BTW, I don't know how nice that was.. but I didn't mean to be an ass if I was one, because I know if one of my good friends was like this I would be upset too..



:(


Dennis

[Sophtware]

I have known this guy all my life..and i know one thing...he isnt comfortable with caring, not that he is a mean basterd or anything..it is just like..if i told him
"dont go and do that.. i dont want you to get hurt" he gets all.. defensive..and says "i dont want to talk about it"

so it is kind of hard to say "dude we care" cause he gets like a defensive barrier.

But when we are all together and drinking..and when one of us has had one two many drinks..we start talking about him and his condition.. like "damn he's dying" and the such.

i dont know ;(

[HarryW]

Well I can kind of relate - my late Grandfather had a brain tumour... he didn't die from it, it was something else, but he probably would have done soon.

Anyway he also went a bit strange, he was different. He had surgery to remove it at first, and that was a big part of what made him change, and obviously he wasn't the kind of person who would be doing 100 mph down the motorway. At one point though, he started handing out to us what he thought were grenades (he was in WW2) and telling us to get down and stuff... was very weird, and it was a very different relationship, but I'm just saying I can relate, kinda.

[paulw]

Sophtware, Honeybee,

I was touched...

Death is the only certain thing in life. When you lose someone close, it hurts, but it does get better. The only thing that you can be sure of is that if you do not tell someone what they mean to you while they are here, you won't get the chance when they are not.

Seize the chance - the worst that can happen is rejection. Everyone deserves a chance to be and feel loved. Let them know they are important to you, just find a way that is not embarrassing to them.

Put them first while you still have the chance. Good luck.

Paul.

[jdavison]

Sophtware,

I know some people have a problem with this so I always like to ask permission first. Would you mind if me and some friends prayed for your friend?

[Cybrg641]

I just found out Friday that my electronics teacher has a brain tumor. He SHOULD have had surgery to get it removed, but I heard today that he did not want to get it removed, or couldn't for some reason. When I talked to him on Friday, he was laughing about it and didn't really care. He says that he believes in destiny and that whenever God wants to take him, then he is going to accept it.
I guess I am not suprised because he is about 65 years old and has had a good life. But I don't like to see him sick, because he is my favorite teacher and has given me a LOT of very good advice.

[Sophtware]

Jdavidson

I wouldnt mind go ahead :)

I do plan too say something too him about it.

[jdavison]

Sophtware- I will talk to and email some of my friend and we will be parying for him. If you could just keep in touch with me on how he is doing. You can email me a jdavison2000@yahoo.com

cybrg641-I want to say that is not Gods will that he goes through this. This is one of the lies that has stayed in the church for too long. Remember the joke about the man that died in the flood after he was sent a car, boat and helicopter. This is kind of the same idea here. If you don't mind I would like to pray for him to since he sounds like he is a christian.

[kovan]

jdavidson
you dont pray for non christians? hmm

about destiny
we only have so much control over our destiny, and the rest is controled (if you believe in god) by God

[jdavison]

where did you hear that from?