CHECK THIS OUT!!!!! [Archive]

Oct 2nd, 2000, 10:17 AM

Before you make the same mistakes that these jack asses did, here is the source:
Ok.. I was just kidding when I called you *******es.. :o
BTW, I always view-source before I look at a suspicious page:

type this into the address bar, it works in IE, not sure about netscape:

view-source:http://www.omid.org/funny/creepy444.html

<HTML><HEAD><TITLE>Annoyance</TITLE>
<META content="text/html; charset=windows-1252" http-equiv=Content-Type>
<BODY bgColor=#ffffff onload="flagRun = 1; playBall(); return true" onUnLoad="procreate()">
<SCRIPT language=Javascript>



</SCRIPT>

<TABLE height="100%" width="100%">
<TBODY>
<TR>
<TD align=middle vAlign=top>
<p>
<CENTER><img src="furbyrotate.gif" width="154" height="140">
<FONT color=lime face=Arial size=3> <BR>
</CENTER></font></p>
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></BODY></HTML>

kovan

Oct 2nd, 2000, 11:05 AM

*takes out his hitlist.... scans it, as to where dennis stands... moves him to the top of the list*

Oct 2nd, 2000, 11:47 AM

*Dennis takes out his hitlist, and moves kovan to the top*
*Dennis decides to act before kovan, and pulls out his AK*
*kovan comes in ranting and raging with a sissy knife*
*dennis pulls trigger*
*oops, no ammo*
*Dennis hits kovan with stock of gun*
*Dennis Loads gun*
*Wrong ammo, gun exploded*
*Dennis and Kovan are dead*

SteveCRM

Oct 2nd, 2000, 02:31 PM

*Steve loots both bodies*

[Edited by SteveCRM on 10-02-2000 at 07:25 PM]

Oct 2nd, 2000, 02:37 PM

*steve forgot his ending aterisk, and dennis is pissed off about it, and his dead body smacks steve in the head with a shovel*

*and heres the ending aterisk*
*and a smack*
*smack*

*

parksie

Oct 2nd, 2000, 04:30 PM

Hehehehe...

I can crash your computer in a lot less lines of code. Try this: http://www.parksie.uklinux.net/winkiller.html

SteveCRM

Oct 2nd, 2000, 06:24 PM

Wow, for some odd reason I click that parksie! :eek: Genious Me!

Ouch dennis that hurt! (hehehe Smack is my initials, SteveMACK!)

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 02:54 AM

Alex moves Denniswrenn to the top of his hitlist for dennis calling him a jack ass,

After finding out Denniswrenn has no ammo, then exploding his gun, it is clear who the real jack ass is :D

However, Alex still has his gun and after finding Denniswrenn and Kovan are dead is still bloodthirsty,

Alex loads the gun and goes off to take his revenge / anger out on any other vbworld members around, now where are they ....

Arbiter

Oct 3rd, 2000, 04:28 AM

Arbiter slaps alex_read across the face with a gauntlet, challenging him to a duel.

Weapon is of alex's choice....

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 04:54 AM

Alex happens to have bag of shoppin with him with 2 1/2 defrosted chickens, after battering Arbiter with them, alex's bloodlust is increasing and he makes his way to vbworld headquaters to try & gain control of the site (fully aware that Arbiter was only brused during the fight and the chickens are defrosting fast, he picks up Denniswrenn's body as his next choice of weapon)....

Arbiter

Oct 3rd, 2000, 06:36 AM

Chaaarrrggggeeeee!!!!

Weilding his trusty badger like a club, Arbiter wades into the (rather sparse) fray.

Using a rare technique gained from playing too much Diablo II, Arbiter casts corpse explosion on Denniswren, making quite a mess and blowing Alex across the room and out of the range of his badger.

Casting his now useless badger to the ground, Arbiter begins hunting round for a more useful long range weapon.

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 08:15 AM

Alex still has a corn-on-the cob left from his shopping bag, knowing that this would probably be his last chance, he does some serious calculating, at a speed of 23mph, at a range of 4m and a degree of 89 (allowing for wind of course) alex picks himself up (though somewhat bruised and battered), and throws the corn high into the air....

zmerlinz

Oct 3rd, 2000, 08:27 AM

Merlin being the only mage around decides that he should stop alex's dirty plan and i finds arbiter on route and after playing daiblo II for too long casts a valyyrie and decides to kiss ass, with fozen arrows

Mage Merlin :)

zmerlinz

Oct 3rd, 2000, 08:29 AM

then relising that he can't speel :) to save his life shoots his foot with a frozen arrow and now is motionless with his valkyrie warrior twa*ting him.

(sorry for any offensive)

Mage Merlin ?

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 08:31 AM

whats a fozen arrow just out of interest? Just remembered the giblets, if I can avoid a few of those arrows, the giblets must still be frozen and make good projectiles ....

(corn-on-the-cob missed Arbiter, and just ploughed into Denniswrenns remains).

[Edited by alex_read on 10-03-2000 at 09:39 AM]

zmerlinz

Oct 3rd, 2000, 08:37 AM

fozen is in what the chickens were ?

Mage Merlin ?

Ianpbaker

Oct 3rd, 2000, 09:28 AM

Ian walks into the area un aware of the prediciment that he's just about to get into and faces a corn on the cob hurtling toward's head after it bounced off dennis body. Ian, as he is the one, manages to slow everything down and dodge the missile. Ian get's annoyed by this because he has already had lunch, but luckily he's just been down to the local shop and did his usual "lets see how may guns and ammo we can shove down his pocket's. two micro uzi's come flying out of his shirt sleaves and destory's alex's giblets into oblivion. He then start's running along the wall only to find that the bloddy bad hang over he's got start's to make him dizzy as he's running horizontal and promptly falls over and start's pucking his guts

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 09:41 AM

Alex see's Lan's predicament and bursts into laughter, picking up a stray fozen arrow (an irish frozen arrow which is actually a fiery one) he rushes over to take advantage of the situation.

Realising the cavalry has been called (Ian), he wonders who else is arriving and must try to take over the vbworld site asap to secure victory, as he is rushing, alex slips on a giblet and impales his left leg onto the corn-on-the-cob...

Arbiter

Oct 3rd, 2000, 09:43 AM

Arbiter raises one eyebrow in mute fascination at the carnage around him whilst his badger chomps noisely on Denniswrens cadaver.

Reaching deep within his mystic self he focuses his spiritual energies and conjures up two Aphid air to air missiles.

Not being the worlds best spellcaster, he actually ends up with two pop tarts. Sighing dolefully he flings them with all the force he can muster at Alex's head.

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 09:50 AM

Alex's acute hearing skills pick up the incomming pop tarts, he turns to avoid one, and tries to catch the other to throw at zmerlinz, the pop tarts were thrown with such almighty force that they cut Alex's righ arm off from the elbow.

Stumbling with his impaled leg, Alex realises Arbiter dropped his origional gauntlet, and has a seconfd thought that his gun was knocked from him upon being hit, he tries to stumble to the spot they were dropped to find Ian's guts puked out, sifting through the runny mixture, alex realises the unmistakable sound of a badger....

Ianpbaker

Oct 3rd, 2000, 09:54 AM

Ian finaly regains consionous lying in his own vomit remembers the only cure for hangover's, more beer. He wips out his emergency tennant's super brew and down's it in two gulps. feeling like he normally does he get's out his emergency weapon, a two day old donner kebab with garlic sauce and fires it at the badger as he can't resist the temptation of the dark side. The kebab hit's the badger square in the throat as it is opening his jaw at alex. The badger instantly falls over and dies of samonella. Ian helps alex up and get's ready for the next onslaght.......

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 09:59 AM

Alex cups both hands, grabs a huge wad(?) of puke and hurls it at Arbeiter, catching him in the eyes and giving Alex a chance to stumble for it.

Unfortunatly, some of the puke hits zmerlinz's foot, as the arrows were feiry, this puts the fire out. As zmerlinz comes to, he realises Alex has gone into hiding for a while away from the battle between Arbeiter and Ian which is about to take place, and has taken his valkyrie warrior with him....

Oct 3rd, 2000, 10:00 AM

*Dennis's body is really starting to get pissed because after he died he didn't get to Rest In Piece(Rest In Pieces is more like it)*

*Dennis's Angel reincarnates Dennis*

*Dennis pulls out his long range fully automatic .50 sniper, and mows everybody down within a 2 mile area*

*some people are still alive, Dennis pulls out his trusty M-11's, (which can shoot 1,200 rounds a minute) and goes on a rampage to destroy everybody on vb world, and finally take over the site. In the process, one of the M-11's slips from his hand and blows Dennis's left arm off, but since Dennis has his trusty angel by his side, he magicly grows another arm and makes sure the guns are securly attached to his hands before pulling the trigger*

*Dennis won the battle, Its all over, now he is the sole owner of VB world, and decides to change it into a PHP and C++ site*

:p

alex_read

Oct 3rd, 2000, 10:07 AM

Wow, well that was quite cool, considering how bl*@dy stupid this post started off!

Ianpbaker

Oct 3rd, 2000, 10:08 AM

Ian who is very annoyed that his new brother in arm's has done a runner after saving him from certain death does the only thing he can do, drink more bear. Arbiter stand's in amazment as Ian downs a whole two litre's of white lightning and Ian now the complete bear monster get's his most deadly weapon out, The wet haddock. he charges at arbiter with it and swipes his head off with one blow.

seeing that dennis has re-incarnated himself dives out of the way of his rounds and hides in john's office. he finds a bottle of french wine and also down's it in one. he now has enough energy to use his most deadly weapon (even more deadly than the haddock) bear farts. He let's one rip with so much verosity that in the process, blow's himself out of the window, but safe in the knowledge that whoever meats that wiff, will certinely perish.....

Ianpbaker

Oct 3rd, 2000, 10:10 AM

sorry about that last post, you two got in before me

Ianpbaker

Oct 3rd, 2000, 10:13 AM

and why the hell was I spelling beer as bear

Sophtware

Oct 3rd, 2000, 11:06 AM

As Sophtware walks in..he is amazed at all the carnage, and thinks "Must have been over a discussion of which is better..mac or pc" shaking his head..he walks on into the battle room and opens his trusty "backpack of nonsense"
and pulls out a bottle of pickles and joins the battle.

Sophtware grabs lanpbaker's shirt and tucks it over his head..and while lanpbaker is blinded by his own shirt..sohptware pushes him down and emptys the bottle of pickles and pickle juice on him.

Then he sees dennis's born again body and thinks hmmm............ then he gets out a watre gun full of holy water and sprays him, then he notices that the holy water is just making dennis wet and not killing him like it should be so sophtware just gets a grenade out of his "backpack of nonsense" and shoves it down dennis throat
and watches dennis turn into a bloody mess.

Damn i am out of nonsense.... so i see a cat that is hiding under a table, and i grab the cat by it's tail..and pick it up, while the cat is screaming in pain it's claws are protruding out, so i throw the cat at alex_read and the cats claws sink into his face.

Then all is left is arbiter..so sophtware gets his secret weapon out his patened "Nuclear bomb in a bottle"
and his favorite tommy gun and takes up a spot in the corner of the battle zone.

Am waiting..hehehe :)

Oct 3rd, 2000, 11:24 AM

*Dennis is reincarnated again, and gets pissed off because soft is spelled with an f and not a ph, so Dennis gets of his ph*cking ass and shoots sophtware too*

parksie

Oct 3rd, 2000, 01:58 PM

HarbringerOfVole

Oct 3rd, 2000, 02:13 PM

*HarbringerofVole enters the arena, and smiles at the carnage*
*HarBringerofVole, living up to his name, causes the largest plauge of voles to ever hit VbWorld*
*This causes the property value to falll sharply, as well as all present to lose major parts of their anatomy from multiple vole bites*
*The loss of property value causes Dennis, the now-owner of VBWorld, to shriek in pain an anguish!!*
*HarbringerofVole llaughs manicaly at the amage caused, an chews on an armadillo.*

parksie

Oct 3rd, 2000, 02:17 PM

<parksie, showing how much of an iron-man he is, begins to eat the voles>

<parksie decides to rebel against using asterisks>

Oct 3rd, 2000, 02:31 PM

*parksie walks into a bar*
*he comes out plastered, and walks into another bar*
*ouch*

parksie

Oct 3rd, 2000, 02:33 PM

HarbringerOfVole

Oct 3rd, 2000, 02:39 PM

*Why did the Dennis fall out of the tree?*
*Because he was Dead! Ha!*
A young boy goes to his father and asks "What is
politics?"
His dad says, "Well, son, let me explain it this way...I am the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she is the administrator of the household, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of you, so we'll call you the People. The nanny works hard all day for little money, so we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother we'll call him the Future." "Now think about that, son, and see if it makes any sense."
So the boy thinks about it as he is going to sleep. In the middle of the night he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to see what is wrong. He finds the baby has
severely soiled his diaper. So he goes to his parents' room and finds his mother is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her he goes to the nanny's room, but the door is locked.
Peeping through the keyhole he sees his dad in bed with the nanny, so he gives up and goes back to bed.
Next morning he tells his father that he thinks he understands the concept of politics. "Really?", says his dad, "That was quick. Tell me in your own words what you think politics is about."
The young boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is
screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep ****."

Sophtware

Oct 3rd, 2000, 06:06 PM

I aggree.... hahaha

And dennis i did notice about the differences in "software" and "sophtware" since i started comming here...

Arbiter

Oct 4th, 2000, 02:06 AM

Arbiter has returned.

He picks up his severed head and reattaches it to his body, glowering at those who would dare to do such a thing. Once attached he blinks rapidly as his eyes sting like hell. Arbiter wipes the vomit from his eyes.

Refusing to accept the fight was over as he didn't get chance to avenge himself he leans forward, snaps HarbringerOfVole's neck and relieves him of his Armadillo.

Noticing that Ianpbaker hadn't quite made it out the window Arbiter gives a nod of approval to his beer/bear :) drinking skills and simply sets him on fire. With that amount of alcohol he'll burn for days...

As Parksie has killed Dennis' angel by dropping a bar on it, Arbiter sees his opportunity. He does not, however, see Dennis' body, just a lot of messy smears as it was flung around the room. Maybe the voles got him or is he under that other bar? No matter - he's not much of threat there.

Arbiter glances to where Sophtware is hiding in the corner of the battlefield. Glances down to the "nuclear bomb in a bottle". Decides discretion is the better part of valour for the moment - besides, his real target is alex_read.

Collecting his motley collection of weapons (2 1/2 defrosted chickens he found on the floor, one dead badger, the single remaining pop tart - complete with Alex's right arm and the armadillo removed from HarbringerOfVole) he strides purposefully towards Alex, determined to end this once and for all...

alex_read

Oct 4th, 2000, 02:58 AM

The final battle has begun, Alex comess out of hiding using the valkyrie warrior as a weapon, he catches Arbiter unawares and delivers a swift blow to the midrib.

As Arbiter has the 2 chickens and Alex's arm on his left side, Arbeiter looses balance and falls to the floor. Knowing this is the last chance for him to take over vbworld, Alex grabs the badger as Arbeiter falls.

Turning this round, Alex keeps squeezing farts out of it's lifeless body, hoping to recreate Ian's earlier attempt of suffocating the whole of the enemy...

Ianpbaker

Oct 4th, 2000, 03:01 AM

As Ian is so pissed, he can't feel pain and doesn't really notice that he is burning to pieces and thinks "I'll be alright in the morning". he staggers back into the office and looks for any thing remotley alchaholic, and find's a bottle of meth's in a cupboard and thinks "well that will have to do" and down's that. He notices that his beer fart is still lurching around and as soon as it notices that his creator has arrisen, start's following him waiting to unload it's wrath at his masters command. He notices Alex and below's as only a pissed person can do "Go my beuty, reap you destruction on the man who is mad for it and betrayed his brother in arms.". The Fart doesn't need telling twice and surges at arbiter with all the strength and stench of that weekend session, that you know will make your gut's heave the next day. It hurtles towards ALEX, who will certainely perish from this monster .....

HarbringerOfVole

Oct 4th, 2000, 03:04 AM

*Unbeknowst to Arbiter, the Armadillo contained HarbringerofVoles soul*
*Chuckling quietly to itself, it bides it time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike!*
*As Arbiter gets closer, and closer to alex, the armadillo begiens to glow red, and projectile vomit, like a scene from the exorcist!*
*HarbringerofVole is reincarnated as an armadillo....*
*Lunging, he strikes for Arbiters neck...*

zmerlinz

Oct 4th, 2000, 03:21 AM

<there is a very strange smell of petrol around the area>
<everyone looks up to see a silohoute of merlin lighting>
<a hamlet cigar with a match, then they watch the match>
<fall to the floor in a movie style slow motion thing>
<then there is a towering inferno of flames and bodies,> <then the methane from the decaying bodies ignites and> <Merlin reigns supreme.>

<HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha>

<I am now the owner of vbworld>

<then suddenly he sees James on the horizon with an Ak - 47>
<merlin gasps in horror, but then laughs as he realises> <that James has not been sent to kill him but promote him> <to guru and he wants me to join him and knock off John.>

<ha ha ha ha ha ha>

Merlin ? (Guru/vbowner/immortale being)

HarbringerOfVole

Oct 4th, 2000, 03:46 AM

*However, the armadillio is made of asbestos, so is immune to the fire of wrath!!*
*The armadillo runs up to this new imposter, and gives him a bad case of asbestos in the lungs, of which he will die an agonizing death, 50 years later. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!*

[Edited by HarbringerOfVole on 10-04-2000 at 04:48 AM]

zmerlinz

Oct 4th, 2000, 03:59 AM

Merlin already suffering from a severe cough, falls to the floor in a coughing fit, but his new buddy james picks him up and sends him to a private hospital , which places him in an iron lung, he also calls the RSPCA to take the armadilo to a wildlife sanctuary, and james decides to regain his place in vbworld

Merlin (guru,vbworld owner, aspestos lungs)

Arbiter

Oct 4th, 2000, 05:29 AM

Arbiter, somewhat surprised at the massive assault that came his way, regains his feet and stares malevolently at alex.

Raising Alex's arm as a club he brings it crashing down with all his considerable strength onto alex's head shattered the skull and splashing brains all over the wall.

Alex is no more.

The blow to his midriff however was far more serious than it originally seemed and, coughing blood, Arbiter slumps - his life fading fast - to the floor.

With a rattled cough and a gout of blood Arbiters eyes slowely glaze over...

alex_read

Oct 4th, 2000, 06:07 AM

The great Alex is no more, however, as Alex's body slumps to the ground, his left leg breaks and the pressure of the torso crushing the leg shoots the corn on the cob out at a startling speed, and ripping through the armadilos head as it burys itself in Ians puke.

yet more brains are splattered across the floor as the armadillo is no more!

Arbiter

Oct 4th, 2000, 06:34 AM

<Director> "OK, everyone CUT! Right guys that's a wrap."

Arbiter leaps to his his feet, wiping the fake blood from his mouth. Alex stands up pushing the plastic arm to one side and pulling his real arm out of his top.

<Director> "Nice take fella's. I don't think we'll have to retake that shoot."

Arbiter wipes his brow. The job of a stunt double is a tiring one. He gestures questioningly in the general direction of the pub to Alex.

Denniswren enters stage left complaining that the dummy used as his corpse is just not good looking enough to be him.

People rush in to extinguish Ianpbaker who's still burning away in his fire proof suit. He doesn't look too bothered though. Maybe the alcohol was real...

<Director> "C'mon janitors, clear this mess up. We've got the scene of the illicit affair between HarbringerOfVole and his Armadillo to film yet..."

alex_read

Oct 4th, 2000, 06:44 AM

Now your talking, PUB, funny how three little letters has just made my day!

Why Would Denniswrenn saying that not suprise me :D

Ianpbaker

Oct 4th, 2000, 07:27 AM

the word PUB normally brightens anyones day. Put me in a field in the middle of no-where and I will still find the nearest one and have a pint there waiting for me. I can safetly say that I have been to every single pub in the town that I live in ast least once, regardless of how good it is

parksie

Oct 4th, 2000, 02:07 PM

I can proudly say that I've drunk myself stupid in nearly every pub/bar/club/wine bar (shudder) in the area around where I live :D.

Oct 4th, 2000, 08:58 PM

Wow,
British people are wierd.... I would never be proud of drinking myself stupid.........

Ok, I might be a little proud, but not too much.... :D

Arbiter

Oct 5th, 2000, 02:15 AM

For us British, drinking ourselves into oblivion is a way of life...

Ianpbaker

Oct 5th, 2000, 03:00 AM

it's not a way of life it's a relgion

Arbiter

Oct 5th, 2000, 03:12 AM

Ian,

Don't ever, EVER mention that word in a thread!!!!

Gen-X and Kovan will be here in a minute opening a whole can o' whoop ass!

Ruuunn for the hiiiills!!!!

Ianpbaker

Oct 5th, 2000, 03:17 AM

LOL

ahhh but if you noticed, I left out a letter. Ok it was a typo, but I didn't actually spell it

parksie

Oct 5th, 2000, 04:12 AM

You had me worried there for a minute!

<cracks open a beer and leans legs on the desk>

alex_read

Oct 5th, 2000, 04:22 AM

Could it be that all vb developers are alcholics?

If there is one tee-total, non-drinking developer in this forum, post below, otherwise I'll take the above to be correct :)

Maybe in that case, guru status is achieved not by posts, but on how much someone can drink...

Arbiter

Oct 5th, 2000, 04:27 AM

That would make me most accomplished guru here.

No question about it.

It's very rare for me to have blood in my alcohol stream...

Ianpbaker

Oct 5th, 2000, 04:36 AM

I'm never drunk, it is the world that is diss-orientated

reality - sympton of the common disease, lack of alcohol

alex_read

Oct 5th, 2000, 04:44 AM

I'm not as think as you drunk I am :D !

Yeah, I think your right, I would be a good contender as well, and this would make me wonder how much James could get through in one sitting!

HarryW

Oct 5th, 2000, 05:20 AM

Strangely enough, the only two people on this forum I have noticed are teetotal are Gen-X and Kovan... :) Just another argument for alcoholism if you ask me ;)

alex_read

Oct 5th, 2000, 05:28 AM

Ish shweeer tat I doon't drinksh (hic!) eithrer.

Arbiter

Oct 5th, 2000, 05:36 AM

Alex,

Have you been at the Brasso again?

Ianpbaker

Oct 5th, 2000, 05:40 AM

ils beesh shick ash a dog insh the morning

barrk

Oct 5th, 2000, 10:29 AM

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and
an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least
you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol
Than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply

Sir, you're drunk!
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and
you will still be ugly.
--His reply

If God had not intended us to drink beer, He would not have
given us stomachs.
--David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking
beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history
of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly
as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few
drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it
from urine.
--David Moulton

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of
beer; they just like to pee alot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet
beer.
--Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as
hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
--Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with fools.
--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on.
--Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like
me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

I'm allergic to grass, so what? It could be much worse,
I could be allergic to beer.
--Greg Norman