Quotes and STUFF!

Ok, first of all, incase you haven't heard, I am getting 1.5megabit ADSL, so I am happy as a pig in sh**...

second of all..
I know we have had many many threads about this kind of stuff before..
but since I am so bored,
I decided to start another,
what are you favorite quotes, excerpts from movies, songs, anything!
short 1 or 2 line jokes...
Come on people...

one of my favorite jokes/quote is in my signature.

and my favorite quote from a song is:


I just dropped her off,
I am thinking oh what a night,
I ought to be flying,
but I am sitting here at this streeetlight,
I thought I was in control,
but I knew where I wanted to go,
she's got me turned inside out,
I am wondering what its all about,
does she live in your dreams?
I don't know, I can't sleep,
is she breaking your heart?
yea but isn't it sweet?
does she know how you feel?
its right on the tip of my tounge.
are you walking on air?
I am sure feeling tall.
does she trouble your mind?
its no trouble at all.
oh I don't know but something tells me it must be love.
I just missed my turn,
I guess I am not thinking straight,
oh and whats with this car,
its driving me back to her place,
I am out here circling around,
I've already covered this ground,
these feelings just can't be denied,
so what am I trying to decide?
does she live in your dreams?
I don't know I can't sleep.
is she breaking your heart?
yea but isn't it sweet,
does she know how you feel?
its right on the tip of my tounge,
are you walking on air?

it just goes on like that for a while.


well, that was a part from my favorite song, well actually it was most of the song :o

;)

[Cybrg641]

"Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand."
-Anon.

"I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them."
-Isaac Asimov

"The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec squared
-Marcus Delengo

"I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your pleased too no,
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew."
-Janet Minor

"Real programmers are those that can sleep in front of terminals ... with their eyes opened."
-Anon.

"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
-Michael Sinz


This is just a few. There are a lot more at http://www.quoteland.com

From your signature, I see your learning SQL,
its VERY easy.. if you know it.
I learnt most of it here
http://www.sqlcourse.com
and
http://www.sqlcourse2.com

:D

[Cybrg641]

Thanks for the tip :)
Got any good sources for XML?

No,
I have had NO LUCK in finding XML sources :(

I think you have to buy a book or something...

[Sophtware]

Here is some real corny stuff that i have heard hanging with my friends when we are REAL drunk....and somewhat HIGH.

What they said:
"Hey fool turn off the window and close the lights"

What they really meant:
"Hey dear friend..if you would be a gentleman and close the window because i am feeling kind of cold, and while you are at it would you please turn off the lights Thank you.

What HE said while we were watching wrestling:
"You think wrestling is fake or phony?"

What he meant:
"I wonder if they practice those chair shots to the head before they make there show..or is it "on the spot".


What one of them said:
"I think i want to change my name..." and we say "Change it to what? and he says "Well my name is Robert White but i want to change it to Roberto Blanco but i dont know for sure."

What he meant:
"I am in the mood to change my name..my name is robert white
but i want to change it to roberto blanco but then again roberto blanco IS robert white..but in spanish"



It's a little off the beaten path of this subject..but i thought it might make a few of you chuckle :)

[Yonatan]

Bye, bye, Stock Bubble Economy. :rolleyes:

Stock Bubble Economy
(Or, These Aren't the Forms You're Looking For)
[With apologies to Don McLean]

A long long time ago
I can still remember how
Those returns used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those numbers dance
And maybe I'd be happy for a while
But February made me shiver
With every 1099 they'd deliver
Bad news in the mailbox
Each one meant more tax
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about the closed loopholes
But something touched me deep inside
The day my return arrived
So...

(Chorus)
Bye, bye Stock Bubble Economy
Drove my Chevy to the mailbox but the mailbox was empty
Them good ole boys were consulting H&R Block
Singin' this'll be the day my return arrives
This'll be the day my return arrives

Did you write the book of deductions
And do you have faith in IRS above
If the Government tells you so?
Now do you believe in Schedule D?
Can loopholes save this profit economy?
And can you teach me how to extend into next year?

Well, I know that you've got a great return
'cause I saw you dancin' in the street
You ripped open that IRS letter
Cause you knew your return was better
I was a lonely single head of household
With a Telefile and a single-page state form
But I knew I was out of luck
The day my return arrived
I started singin'

(Chorus)

Now, for ten years I've been on my own
And returns reflect my prosperity
But, that's not how it used to be
When the letter came for my parents
I knew we couldn't fix the car's dents
Cause they'd take money from you and me
Oh and while my dad was looking down
The IRS stole his year's bonus
The return was bad news
We could only lose
And while Mother gave to charity
My father scribbled desparately
And we read booklets in the dark
The day our return arrived
We were singin'

(Chorus)

Helter skelter in an April swelter
The execs flew off to the corporate tax shelters
Eight miles high and 200 offshore
I'd try to smoke some grass
To get rid of the pain in my ass
From the IRS screwing me on that day
Now the post office air was sweet perfume
While carriers delivered, whistling a tune
We all opened envelopes eagerly
We couldn't have been more busy
But our jaws dropped and eyes gaped
As we saw how we'd been raped
Do you recall what was revealed
The day our returns arrived?
We started singin'

(Chorus)

[Yonatan]

Abort, Retry, Ignore? :rolleyes:

To the meter of "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe...


Abort, Retry, Ignore?
=====================

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer,
I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the disk to store,
Only this and nothing more.

Deep into the monitor peering, long I sat there wond'ring, fearing,
Doubting, while the disk kept churning, turning yet to churn some more.
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother! Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer, only this and nothing more,
Just, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

Was this some occult illusion, some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices undesired, ones I'd never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the choices as the disk made impish noises.
The cursor flashed, insistent, waiting, baiting me to type some more.
Clearly I must press a key, choosing one and nothing more,
From "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

With fingers pale and trembling, slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee, timidly, I pressed a key.
But on the screen there still persisted words appearing as before.
Ghastly grim they blinked and taunted, haunted, as my patience wore,
Saying "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

I tried to catch the chips off guard, and pressed again, but twice as hard.
I pleaded with the cursed machine: I begged and cried and then I swore.
Now in mighty desperation, trying random combinations,
Still there came the incantation, just as senseless as before.
Cursor blinking, angrily winking, blinking nonsense as before.
Reading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw a dreadful sight: a lightning bolt cut through the night.
A gasp of horror overtook me, shook me to my very core.
The lightning zapped my previous data, lost and gone forevermore.
Not even, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

To this day I do not know the place to which lost data go.
What demonic nether world us wrought where lost data will be stored,
Beyond the reach of mortal souls, beyond the ether, into black holes?
But sure as there's C, Pascal, Lotus, Ashton-Tate and more,
You will be one day be left to wander, lost on some Plutonian shore,
Pleading, "Abort, Retry, Ignore?"

[parksie]

Have you ever tried to tell a 50 tonne tank to stop having sex?

From I Married a Strange Person

[Sophtware]

These two quotes i remember from my dad saying them all the time about some people that we know that are just pure ****-ups.


"Give him time, He could **** up a anvil in a rubber room"

"He could mess up a wet dream"














Why Does Words Like "JAVA" and "BASIC" seem like someone is screaming?"