Common Stereotypes.....

Today I was going somewhere, with my brother, my mom was driving, it was my brothers car, ok, enough "chit chat" (;))...

Today I(actualy "we") were going somewhere, and we stopped at the light, I happened to notice that the person in front of us didnt..(stop at the light)...
I wasnt planning on saying "he ran the light" because there could have been a good reason he did, perhaps he was late for work, or there was some other emergency, or maybe he just didnt hit the brakes in time.
but my brother said "did he run the light?"
and my mom said "of course"

ok,
now what was that all about?

I know a lot of people do it, but, just because the guy isnt you that automaticaly means he is a drunk, bad driver, and he runs stoplights/signs ?

I have noticed that stereotype ALOT... and I really dont like when people do that...
people act like they are the only good drivers in the world, and since other people arent them(the "only good driver in the world") they are automatically the bad driver...

now I would like some opinions and stuff... on what I just said,
how many of you have noticed this?
how many do it themselves?
and how many people dont like it?


Dennis

[parksie]

It doesn't matter if he ran the light or not, it depends on reasons. I usually ignore people who run a light that's just changed, because round where I live it's 2 seconds green, 2 hours red, so people run it where possible (OK, so I'm exaggerating, but hey).

why wouldnt it matter if he ran the light or not?

I think it would because
people are just that way unfortunatly :(
they act like just because the person is not them, and they ran the light once, that means the person who ran the light once, does it all the time....
I really dont like it when people do that,
I know its gonna be true whether I like it or not, I just hate it when people judge other people before they know them...
for example,
I am fat.......
if you look at me I look fat, mean and dumb,
I am not dumb, I have proven that by many people giving me dumbfounded looks when I go into a store and ask for a certain computer part or program....(some people who work at computer stores need to be fired, they know absolutely nothing about what they are doing)
and I am not mean, or..... ummm.. well I cant really prove that I am not mean, but um.....
ok,
but when people look at me they see
fat, dumb, mean, why would I want to hang out with him?
why would I want to talk to him?

but when I meet somebody on the internet, and they know me and my personality, even if they know I am fat, they still accept me and like me,... well they dont have to look at me but they could easily say "shut up fat ass and leave me alone" just because they dont want to socialize in any way with a fat person.

ok, I am done rambling on....


Dennis

[parksie]

What you look like shouldn't make any difference to anything. I suppose computer people have it easy - noone ever sees them, but they are greatly appreciated.
Oh yeah, and as for being fat - who the hell cares? You're you, they're them, and anyway, it goes both ways - some of today's models would blow away if it hit Force 2.

I know people shouldnt mind, but they do.....
I know i shouldnt want to associate with those people because there likes are based on looks, but thats the only kind of people there are!!!!
every body judges by peoples looks!!
thats the bottom line!!!!!

well everybody in USA does....
it sucks!

[parksie]

Here in the UK (at 3am, anyway), most people aren't that bothered with another person's physical appearance, mainly because we Brits are evil and if A criticises B, then B will go and spread nasty things about A to C, then C gangs up with B and torments A. And if you can follow that, then well done - because I can't. (Suffering from lack of sleep and the after-effects of nitrogen narcosis).

[Sophtware]

I used to be fat...not fat but FAT and i never got a girl or did anything cool never went to partys cause i was too fat.Then i got fed up and went on diets and worked out ..then i got any girl i wanted and i didnt go to partys , i made the partys and everyone liked me better i was more "accepted" now i know your not supposed to change your appearnce for other people but hell what else is there to do?..haha be a nice guy?? being nice dont get ya **** in most fields in life. I really laugh at that old saying
"It's what is inside that counts" hahah well yeah in a job it is but as far as females and socialzing..it is the farthest from the truth. People do not look at your personality and judge you ..they look at your physical look.

[parksie]

I used to be a bit round myself, but it gradually wore off, so now I'm a bit disproportionate with big hips and no stomach fat...I suppose I'd better finish my workout programme.

how FAT sophtware???
because I think that is how I am.....

I never get invited to parties, even if I was I wouldnt go.. I hate parties.

and I used to have a girlfriend, but she had some conflicts with my wife(computer ;)) so I had to dump her :(
I shouldnt have, but the computer is basicly my life.

I am not the socializing kind of person, If I was invited to somebody's house for a party I wouldnt go, or if I was asked to go on some wierd charade I wouldnt go, but it would be nice to be asked every once in a while......

oh well, its all for the better I guess, because when I get my business started and going well I am gonna march my fat ass over to their house and laugh in there face while holding large sums of money :D
that will show them...


Then i got fed up and went on diets and worked out


what kind of diets and what kind of workouts?
I was taking these pills called metabolife, but I heard a certain root in them (called ephedra) can cause heart attacks and strokes. So I quite those.

but what kind of workouts?
a few months ago I was lifting weights but after a month with no results(maybe I needed heavier weights) I stopped.

Parksie,
I understand what you are saying, but that is not at all on judging by ones personality, its being nice to someone so you dont get your ass kicked!

but people arent really that mean to me, because well, I am german.. so I guess I am evil(hehe) and I will kick there ass.
once this little oriental kid punched me in the mouth... hehehe he didnt do anything to me, well he made my mouth a little sore, but I broke his nose and his jaw...
I know I went a little overboard.. but that was the first time anybody hit me in the face and I was pissed. and I didnt really like the kid, so I took that into play also...

well I am getting a lot off subject.....

damn I talk alot....
well basicly, I dont think I should have to change for other people F*** them... if they dont like me the way I am then they can go to hell, I will just wait until I find somebody who doesnt care about looks... wish me luck :)


Dennis

[Gen-X]

Firstly the red light.

Personally I don't care if they run the red light or not, that doesn't make them a good or bad driver but it does make them inconsiderate at that point in time.

All too often you see people who run red lights because "They are driving and stuff anyone else on the road" as if they have the right to do anything but nobody else can.

What if there was a car coming the other way?
Or an Ambulance trying to run someone to the hospital?

The point is the rule is put in place for the safety and protection of people's lives... and despite having a good reason or not... is that reason good enough to risk YOUR life over? Personally I would like to be the one to make the decisions on when I will risk my life... not some driver who had an emergency or was late for work or whatever.

You break a rule you be responsible for breaking it, you not just have someone blow it off because you had a "reason"



As for being fat, I started in a difference place but ended up the same anyway. I was about the size of most 18 year olds when I was only 10, 5'11" and built like a brick shithouse as they say here in Australia. Of course everyone has since caught up to my height but my frame is mesamorphic and very broad (yes I did body building for a while).

People kept their distance from me because they were afraid I would hurt them, especially girls. I remember the first time a girl allowed me to hold her hand she said "My God! I can't believe how gentle you are!!" and all because they saw something and made a stereotype of what that meant.


But I think this kind of stereotype is different from something that involves the breaking of laws or the inconsideration of people around you.

Thats my 2c worth

[Sophtware]

Well i havent worked out ina while cause i just got lazy but i dont eat much anyway so i dont get fat.

How fat?? haha this is how fat i remember i was 8th grade weighed probably 200lbs at 13yrs old! and my pants were a size 40 and they were to tight for me and it was cutting off the ****ing blood from circulating hahaha so i relaxed with the eating and lost enough weight so the pants wouldnt be tight..then i moved on to high school and was still a pork, all my friends had girlfriends and they accepted me for who i was yada yada yada.


And i would always get picked on cause i was the "fat kid" that wasnt important and could be the target for everyones fatt jokes and beatings...i would kick some ass for being a fat kid but when it gets to the fight being 3 or 4 on 1 it gets kinda hard to win.So started working out got bigger and grew at the same time..so by about the 11th grade i was 6-1 235lbs (not fat) and lets just say i didnt get picked on any more.:)


The workouts i used to do were mostly freeweight stuff (barbells, dumbells) i started out at a weight i could handle basiclly. then when i could do that weight easy i added 5 pounds to my freeweights.
I would do the basic stuff..military presses, bench presses work on my arms and legs..basiclly my major body parts..
haha i was so proud of myself my max bench press was 200lbs and squat was 300lbs..ok sorry back to the story

My advice to you for losing weight would be to definetly diet..thats the main thing.Workout with weights whatever kind of weights you can get...then do some cardio stuff run in a park for at least 15 mins.One of the things that i found to work your stomach muscles incredibly is the incline sit up. Now about the diet pills...i did them ..alot of em and the point of em is to not make you stop eating compleley they are just supposed to curb your appetite.The ephedra stuff i never took to much of it cause that is for those desperate people that need to lose lots of weight quick and that aint good for ya health.

There's other stuff out there that is just as good as ehpedra but aint as dangerous.Go to a local drug store or if you live in the u.s. there might be a health store around your area called general nutrition center and look for some Bottle o' pills called "Diet fuel" or "Riped fuel"
They both work really good for curbing appitite, and they give you lots a energy ta boot:) also they dont have no ephedra in them.

Ok am done and i know this was a hell of a long post but i know how ****ed up people can be towards fat people,i have heard every FAT JOKE there is so dennis hope this helped.

Oh yeah if you decide to workout and get into shape i know it seems like it will take forever but if you work at it everyday and intense ..the max time it will be to get in shape would be about 3 months,so hang in there man it will be worth it in the end. :)

Gen-X

I know this is a different stereotype, but its basicly the same, somebody is judging someone before they see what they are like, but its not like you are going to be friends with everybody at the stop light so you could say "of course, he always runs the light"

even though the subjects we are talking about are totaly different, I still think people shouldnt judge people unless they know them, because what if the person who ran the light was color blind, and didnt know it, or just learning to drive and he got nervous, you dont know but you act like you do....
BTW I am not talking about you, Gen-X but the person who stereotyped the person who ran the light.

Sophtware
how tall where you in 8th grade?
seems like you must have been short, because i weight a little more than that... ahem... not gonna say here, but I am about 6', and if I was shorter i would look REALLY FAT!

and you probably dont know this, but up until 5th grade I was very skinny, I was about 65 pounds in 4th grade,
but my feet were very flat, and they were starting to hurt really bad, so I stopped doing sports, and I stopped playing outside, I just sat around.. at that time I had a macintosh, so I wasnt at the computer much(Mac's suck)
and finally after the school year was over I got my foot operated on, July 24, 1997.
at that point I couldnt even walk,
I got around in a wheel chair.
well I got pretty fat from that, and when my foot was finally getting well enough to walk on, they cut up the other one, and another six months of not walking. This operation was on December 3, 1997.

at that time I could barely stand on my good foot(right) and I could not stand on the foot I just got operated on (left).

and now because of the operations I am not much for things that involve my feet(walking, running, jumping)
sure I can walk. But after about 1/2 mile they start to hurt.... ALOT....



Dennis

[Sam Finch]

Dennis,

I think the answer may be swimming, Is there a pool near you? If you go there every day and do a few lengths (start of at about 25 and try to push this up to 100 in 2 months) then you should start to see some results. On top of this you might want to start weight training, get a book on how to do it properly, plan a workout for what you want to achieve and stick to it, gradually increcing the weights as you go. The important thing about weight training is not to do it every day, you have to give your muscles time to recover and grow, doing it every day you are not achieving as much as if you do the same workout every 2 days. Lay off the junk food and try not to eat between meals.

Signed Sam the hypocrite.

yeah, there is a pool near me,
but it closes in about half a month....
because summer will be over...

and its hard to "swim" in pools where I live, they are all so crowded you are lucky if you find a place that hasnt been "Warmed" for you.. if you know what I mean.


Dennis

[Sam Finch]

hmm, fair enough.

[Sophtware]

I guess i was about 5'10 in 8th grade ..damn that was 7 years ago..where does all the time go!! haha

And i found out personally when i workout every day i get better results, now am not saying to work yourself to death everyday..am just saying do a good workout.

[BruceG]

Dennis, you have raised some important issues here regarding weight problems. (Before I get into that, let me respond to the traffic issue: Although I understand where you are coming from regarding pre-judging someone, I tend to agree with Gen-X's remarks on this; the traffic laws are in place for everyone's safety and we can't have people following the law only when they want to.)

On the weight issue, it is unfortunate that many people in our society judge a person as lazy, stupid, etc. just because they have some extra poundage. In an ideal world, people would judge others (to paraphrase MLK) "not by the color of their skin (or their size, ethnic background, etc. etc.), but by the content of their character."

I struggled with this as a young guy (I was very heavy between the ages of 12 to 14, so I know first-hand what you're dealing with). And now I've got a son that is close to your age, and I see him going thru the same thing. So the question is what do you want to do about it.

I'm 39, and I've been up and down weight-wise (fortunately, I'm down now and have been for over five years - I'm 5'10" and weigh 180 - but 6 years ago, in August 1994 I weighed 280!!!) The history of the ups and downs (in case anyone is interested) is as follows: By the time I was 14, I weighed 215, and I knew I had to do something if I wanted to attract a girlfriend (sure, there must have been a non-superficial girl out there who could see past the weight problem, but I didn't feel like waiting around - this is the real world, not the ideal one!). So I learned how to play the guitar and I went on the Atkins diet (when it FIRST became popular, in the 1970s!). By age 15 I was down to 165 and I remained relatively slim until my early 20's. I was also weight-lifting during this period to keep in shape. From my early 20s to age 33, between working, marraige, fatherhood, mortgages and all that other adult kinda stuff, the diet and exercise plan went out the window, and I climbed up to 280 pounds! Well, the Atkins diet had worked for me as a young guy, and it was becoming popular again, so I started on it in August of 1994. I lost 60 pounds on it the first 6 months, but it took another year to lose 20 more, and I was stuck between 200 and 210 until just this year. I didn't stay on Atkins this whole time, but I would alternate between it and a low-fat kind of thing (which I didn't follow strictly, which is why I remained stuck). Meanwhile, starting in the summer of 1997, we joined our community pool for the summer and I started doing laps (like Sam Finch recommends, this is a great exercise, which would be great for you because of the foot thing). So over the summers, I built up to doing 64 laps (1 mile at our pool). Just this past year, I joined an indoor pool so I could keep up with it and built up to 100 laps (just over 1.5 miles). Doing the lap workout 3 to 4 times a week, plus sticking with a low-fat/low-calorie diet is what helped me break the barrier I was at for so long.

So from all this rambling, here are the conclusions I have reached, based on what has worked for me personally:
(1) A lot of people will freak out when you mention the Atkins diet, but I loved it, it's not evil, and it can be great to give you a "jump start" losing weight. You can lose a lot of weight without even exercising the first several months you are on it. Admittedly, I stayed on it too long and I "plateaued" (got to a point where I was no longer losing on it). This is a great diet for "big eaters" because you'll never be hungry, and you can have all the bacon, eggs, butter, meat, chicken, fish, pork rinds(!), etc. that you want. The one thing it taught me is that, regardless of what diet you are on, SUGAR AND WHITE FLOUR ARE EVIL!!!
(2) Eventually, exercise should enter the picture. I started out VERY modestly with the swimming, but built up to a respectable workout that I could stick with over a three year period (Summer of 1997: swam 1/4 mile 3-4x week, Summer 1998: swam 1/2 mile 3-4x week, Summer 1999: swam 1 mile 3-4x week, Fall 1999 to present: 1 to 1.5 miles 3-4x week).
(3) Find a way of eating that you can stick to that will keep you losing while you need to, then that will maintain you and prevent you from gaining once you've reached your goal. If you think of it as a "diet", then you will feel deprived and it will not work. Guys like you and me must be VIGILANT about our weight - if we drop our guard, the pounds will return! What has worked for me over the last year is a low-fat, low-calorie way of eating - mostly veggies and fruit. Remember, I told you I'm a "big eater" so how am I sticking to this, you may ask? Well, I'm still eating big: MASSIVE salads with all kinds of veggies with non-fat dressing, MASSIVE amounts of steamed veggies for dinner or lunch, and for fruits, the biggest bang for your calorie buck are MELONS (cantaloupes, honeydews, etc.) taste great and are LOW in calorie.

If you consider doing any of this, feel free to e-mail me and I'll give you any advice or help you need.

Finally, even if you don't do any of this, just know that while it may seem that the whole world is superficial, there are many of us out here (myself included) who are not concerned with outward appearances and respect people for what they are. Having been active on this forum for several months and seeing your posts, I don't care if you have a weight problem, I don't care that you're 1/3 my age; I respect you as a knowledgable programmer and a hell of a nice guy!

[BruceG]

Hi, I'm Bruce G.'s son- Jesse, well anyway I'd like to coment on Dennis' philisophy since mine is almost exactlly the same people act as if your appearance is your mind is hard to live in such a primitive society with an above standard inteligance, this kid at my camp doesn't even know my name and has classified me as "Kid who took up both mine and Rory's seat" well that kid is a complet ass so he doesn't bug me, but it does bug me when this kid Jeff who is extremely inteligent sterotypically makes fun of me(my weight) he has mental emotional and hyperactive problems, I guess that's why, well what I'm trying to say is that it's not really inteligance but attitude and control of expressing thoughts of insults when they should consider other peoples' emotions, it's not I.Q but knowing that what other people are, human, like you. Hitler and Neo-Nazis can't understand the concept of differce they can't accept people on the same land with different skin different God(Gods), different style of life.

My friend, James' family is Christian I'm Jewish and he can understand differance and doesn't think ethnicity makes a difference in friendship, his friend is an anti-semite and makes fun of fat people when I was there James' friend, John, made fun of me and when he found out my ethnicity he made of me for that, James stoped talking to John about a month after John showed his racism more often.

Well any way I'm 12 and I'm into networking internet hardware and comuter security. :D

Hi Bruce, and Jesse,

I just emailed you and I dont really have much more to say,

but anyway

Thanks for taking the time to post :D

[V(ery) Basic]

I always get invited to parties.

Suck on that.

Sexy Female Ornithologist: What are your favourite birds?
Interested Male: What would you say to twelve finches?

;)

It's obviously my sense of humour.

[parksie]

Hmm. Not so sure about the new sig, V(ery) :).

[Sam Finch]

The Sig confuses me as well, but then everything that V(ery) says confuses me.

I get his sense of humor..... V(ery) is V(ery) funny ;)

[parksie]

Yep. Instead of the VB Raving Loony party, it could be the 'Those who find V(ery) funny' party. I think that V(ery) has deteriorated in John's absence. When's he back, BTW?

[Jamagei]

I was taught that where i live (UK) treat every driver like they are a complete moron. then you expect everything from them and you end up crashing less. (that is the theory anyway)

But people will always stereotype people because it makes them feel better about themselves. if someone says "god, he's got a fat ass" they are diverting the attention away from there own insecurities. personally, i try not to stereotype. who cares if you are fat. i don't, if someone does they are not worth knowing.

as for the girfriend thing, you can't warm the lonely winter night with your mouse. god dammit man go out and get a woman. 50% of people (roughly) are female, and about 80% of the single ones are available. but if you don't want to then this is the internet, where no one can see your spare tyre.

[HarryW]

About a month ago I decided to cut down the amount of calories I ate, and in particular the amount of fat. Weighed myself today and I've lost over half a stone, which ain't bad by my standards. I'm not fat really, just carrynig a little exces which I figured it was time I lost. Been exercising too, done a little jogging and played football for the first time in 2 years (that's soccer to you yanks).

I just look on packets of things to get an idea about the fat content. An average sized adult male should take in about 2500 kcal / 90g fat per day I think, so if you just stay under this you ought to lose a bit of weight.

If you get hungry eat celery. It takes more energy to chew it than you actually get from digesting it, so it's like exercise :)

[Sophtware]

"If you get hungry eat celery. It takes more energy to chew it than you actually get from digesting it, so it's like exercise"


hahaha.



BATMAN: I am bat glad that you understand my point about the looks thing.

...!!!! Sorry just had to BAT say it haha !!!!


See ya.

[Joker]

Jamagei:
"But people will always stereotype people because it makes them feel better about themselves. if someone says "god, he's got a fat ass" they are diverting the attention away from there own insecurities."

People always want to make themselves feel better by dogging others.

yeah....
everybody does it....
well everybody I know...
including me :o

but I dont just judge somebody immediatly and put them down, I only make fun of them if they are a jerk, and they are stupid, and they make fun of other people.

and most of the time I only make fun of people as self defense. Because I want people to like me. and I dont want them to like me if the only reason they do is because I make fun of other people.

that is just plain dumb. You should like people for who they are, not by their weight, their height, or how they make fun of people.

[Michael]

There is a lot of comment and opinion on this thread but there is one comment that, to me, sticks out further than any other.

That is the one where Dennis refers to his computer as his wife.

If you think more about your machine - a chunk of metal and plastic - than a woman, then think about how that must make a woman feel. I know that computers don't give you heartache (well not too much) but how are you going to find love if you don't risk a little hurt? (God I sound like "Dear Deirdre")

It sounds like you should get out more. Any adverse comments you might receive about your size says more about those making the comments than you. Ignore the prats!!!

If that doesn't help then you are obviously going to the wrong places. Grab life by the balls and twist 'em!!!

I am not being unsympathetic here, Dennis. All I am saying is stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it!!!.

[Edited by Michael on 08-14-2000 at 07:19 AM]

[Wonder Woman]

Originally posted by Batman

Batman is a bat part-time personal trainner by night and programmer by day. If you want to stay ahead in life, you must feel good about yourself. You need to stay sharper than the average person and physically stronger(including hand to hand combat) under any circumstance.

Dennis, Batman never realised you got a weight issue. Batman will send you my personal 27 page research on building muscles and gainning maximum strength without steroid. Batman have researched this topic since November 1st, 1991 and have bat helped many bat people to change their bat lifes. Batman will teach you the bat proper techniques ranging from breathing, hand and body positionning, NUTRITION, MENTAL PYC and MENTALLY FOCUS, and true DISCIPLINES.

Lets put it this way, after you finish with this bat program in about two bat years, you will be looking like bat gymnist and benching twice your bat body weight without bouncing or needing a bat spotter. Anyone who works out knows benching your body weight is health but benching twice your body weight is super bat healthy.


Wow! You turn me on Batman! A buff programmer like you know hand to hand combat too! Maybe you can practice it on me loverboy! So discipline and metally equipted. What a batorama package!!!

See you tonight for dinner Batman!

[HarryW]

Michael's dead right there actually, you have to risk a little hurt.

As the phrase goes, "Tis better to have loved and lost that ne'er to have loved at all." It's absolutely true, and I'm speaking from personal experience. I regret (almost) nothing, even though it hurts.

Reminds me of another saying that a good friend of mine (you know who you are) often reminds me of when I'm confused (neither of us are chauvanists btw, honest, it's just a saying) -

"Women were put on this Earth to please the eye and trouble the mind."

:)

[Michael]

Thanks for the support, Harry.

As you go through life you have good experiences and bad experiences. As time goes by, they all add up to general experience, which in my view is never bad. It merely adds more conviction to any decisions that you make now.

All this philosophy has exhausted me now. I am going to bed.

"Women - you can't live with em, and you can't live without em"

Red Light runners

That really irritates me, doesn't make the driver a bad driver just a dickhead of reasons Gen-X explained.

Weight problem

Get in a room of computer people, and l mean no one is looking terribly good. My Wife has a weight problem, but doesn't affect her personality.

Friends

Ok so l hang out with a lot of computer types.....we could get cast in a horror movie.....they rang from fat to skinny, tall to short, all races.

My Wife's friends are mainly artistic types, and got to tell you they don't look any better than computer types.

Yeap plenty of party invitations etc, Dennis get new friends, it shouldn't matter what you look like too them, if it does then they are very shallow people.

Just my .01 cents worth.

[HarryW]

The problem is though, and I think I can properly empathise with Dennis to some extent here from previous experience, when you're.... Dammit... how old are you? I've got a feeling you're either 13 or 15 or something like that.... when you're <insert age here>, those 'new friends' are a heck of alot like the old ones.

Anyway my point is that when I was that age most people in my peer group were totally immature and the 'get new friends' plan was a bit fruitless because everyone acted the same, all just wanting to fit in. It sucks, but a lot of people that age (most) ARE superficial, they don't care who you are just who other people think you are and what thay'll think of them being friends with you and blah blah blah the list of stupid childish factors goes on.

I always hated that, and tended to stick with a relatively small group of friends who I knew and trusted and could actually hold a decent conversation with. Don't get me wrong, no dinner jackets and wine tasting or anything ;) it was just that they didn't really try to be anything other than themselves. There wasn't so much pressure to be the same, have the same opinions, like the same music, have the same haircut, eat the same crisps etc etc.

Anyway, I don't know if that's exactly how the people you know are, and the situation in my case wasn't as extreme as I've made out. Anyway, when I turned 16 I went to the local college (no not the American version of college, I'm talking about A-Levels) because that's what people from my school generally did - a lot of secondary schools have sixth forms but ours didn't (thankfully). Anyway I found that the people at college were much more natural, it was a totally different atmosphere, far more laid back (with a little help from the free availability of recreational drugs I expect ;)).

Point is, people change. You are obviously ahead of your peers both academically and in terms of maturity, and unfortunately that means you're having to go through the trials and tedium of their childish attitudes. This will not always be, as you will I'm sure see in the next few years.

I know it's not much in the way of support, but I think it's just something you've got to live through. In some ways we are quite similar - I used to take the piss out of people all the time and people liked that. I didn't do it cos they liked it though, just cos that's the way my family is and the way I was brought up - we take the piss out of each other all the time and generally laugh at ourselves :) Some families have arguments, even straight fights, we just laugh, it's cool :)

Gosh, I'm getting a bit OT here. Anyway stick with it mate, because in years to come (and not too far in the future I am sure) the tables will turn, and you'll find that all those people that spent far too much time worrying about what other people thought of what they thought of what he though of what she thought will be far less popular.

A real bonus here for you is that it's the girls (usually) that change first. They will no longer be impressed by the number of cocktail sticks some idiot can stick in his forehead at once ;). They will value you as your own person.

[parksie]

Originally posted by HarryW
They will no longer be impressed by the number of cocktail sticks some idiot can stick in his forehead at once ;). They will value you as your own person.
Damn!!! There goes my party trick! :D

No one better make fun of Young Gun Sniper.


Thanks Batman!!!!!

I know I have to be patient, but how long is it going to take to get into shape?

[MPrestonf12]

About that red light thing. Find that kat out on the highway and flip on the nitrious. j/k. This world is full of bullsh*t, especially the schools where socializing seems to be the main focus. I lost a few inches by mowing lawns..give it a try

[Captain Pinko]

It's not my fault I'm the coolest kid in school... Okay, maybe I'm not, never was, and never will be; but that doesn't have to be a reason for despair. If you look through-out history their have always been people who have gone against society and managed to live their lives. You should read Come As You Are by Micheal Azzerard it is a biography of Kurt Cobain who managed to live his life completely independent of other peoples' views, opinions, and expectations. Just be happy that you can be yourself and f*&k what everybody else thinks of you, we here (@ VBWorld) know your worth =) As for girls and parties... you are probably looking in the wrong places. If you are trying to fit in with the cool kids then you'll never be happy because you'll never be able to be yourself. Instead just give everyone a chance ('cuz it wouldn't do for you to be prejudice against others) and you will find people who will hang with you. I speak from experience as I have plenty of good friends (none of them have any interest in programming, but that doesn't matter) now. Where as when I was trying to fit in I was depressed, suicidal (got marks), and an alcoholic. Just don't go after the pretty girl/boy (I'm not here to judge), but for the one with a good heart (he\she may have NOTHING to do with computers at all). As for your "wife"... that is not healthy.
First of all, (my mom is a shrink, so I don't speek out of ignorance) it is most likely that you throw yourself into computers to avoid dealing with issues in your life. It is no different than my alcoholism at all, just another manifestation of it. Seek help or counseling (honestly).
Second of all, don't forget what is truly important in life! When you are on your death bed would you rather be reminiscing about the time you drunkenly flashed those cops OR be surrounded by piles of money and "friends" squabling over it and arguing who gets how much... Really, think about. Go out and find people who will not only speak to you, but be there for you. I'd hate for you to be be breaking-down on the bathroom floor with a razor in your hand... been there, not-quite-so-pretty. There are people who are willing to be your friend and give emotional support and wild parties (tho remember, look beyond the surface). If you need proof just look at how people have opened up to you on this thread... You just have to be able to open up in person and look beyond the surface and look into people, and people will do that to you too (some of them anyway). Here is an encouraging anecdote: I, a certifiable geek, have a beautiful girl-friend, and while she just passes her classes and I ace them, we found common ground because, despite the fact that she is one of those "pretty girls", she too is trapped in stereotypes of her own. I am now stable (relatively), and happy; and while I enjoy programming, it is the times I spend with my friends that matter most.
"Computers are a living, NOT a life."

PS A Big "SMACK" to those of you who think/thought that this HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH RED LIGHTS!

PPS I'm not fat, but anorexia saw to that... fine now tho...

To Kat and to all those who've been there (you know who you are) THNX for everything...